Sunday, March 16, 2008

A New Door

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.

"When one door closes, another one opens."

Last Monday, I started the week with an overnight visit to an emergency room. Everyone is fine, but it was the staying awake all night and then working part that killed me. Called in, went in around 11 finally. Started the drill on the phones during breaks and lunch to call doctors, check coverage, make appointments. This was at the end of a very long 4 weeks, some of the hardest in my life. So bad, that I told a work friend on that Monday, that I would be declaring the month from hell over at the end of week by raising my glass in a toast of an adult beverage to ring in the new day.

I just didn't know I would be doing this at 10 a.m. Wednesday.

My day job went global, half to Manila, half to India. Outsourced. Restructured. Eliminated due to computer upgrades. Finished, told to by a manager from France who didn't even learn the American social skill of shaking someones hand goodbye and wishing them well. I wonder now as I write this, if they will call themselves "Jane" or "Kathy" or some other American name to try and fit in.

A new day. A fresh start. A do-over at mid life. One door is closed, and God will open a new one. Just look for it friends tell me. You won't be able to miss it. Well, maybe I need to be sure not to miss it.

Have you ever been to see the Space Shuttle door at John F. Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral? Wonderful, amazing park. You get to ride a bus tour and see the "garage" where the shuttle sits, waiting for the next launch. It has doors 10 stories tall, and it gets pulled out of there, and moved at a nice slow pace, 1 mile an hour, to the launch pad. No mistake there where it's going when the door opens. Huge. See, that's what I need, doors that large and a forklift on my behind leading me to it. I don't want to miss it. I want to be sure to see the clue. I want to get it right. Put me on a platform and pull me there, please.

I have a 235 page book from the outplacement service to get me going. Lots of fun, frilly exercises to help me determine where to go from here. But see, I have it all figured out already.

Reality TV. That's the ticket. Everyone loves drama and screaming. I can do that. Show the kids running around killing each other over who gets to watch what TV show or who gets the last of the Cocoa Pebbles. Piece of cake, tune in any day at 5, no writing needed. What to watch a temper tantrum? Watch me take Wild Child's skateboard away for failing 4 classes. Need gore and tears? Stay glued to your seat in while I open the mail, pay bills, and balance the checkbook. Need to see the before shot of desperate makeovers? Catch me everyday at 5 A.M. as I head to the gym.

And the theme? Never before on modern TV, a sure winner. Big hit, lot of marketing sponsorship possibilities. Millions of viewers possible. Gore all the way, just what we love.

Aging Supermodel. You see, no one knows what they might look like without all the plastic surgery. They could have stretch marks the size of Rhode Island. There boobs might really need a fork lift to hold them up. Maybe they need to buy hair dye in 5 gallon buckets to keep up with the white hairs from having 3 teenagers. Maybe they need to shave to get rid of their mustaches on their upper lips. Maybe the thighs do become one large body part.

And if reality TV doesn't fly? Well, there's always a dollar and a dream. Hey, you never know. And food during this transition time? (<--see, I'm learning the lingo already)
Well, I told the kids, every day at 5 put on their coats, and get in the car. It's the friends feed the family plan.

What are you cooking today? I'll be over.


Cindy Hennessey said...


Downsizing/outsourcing/transitioning...whatever the hell they call it, it sucks.

But I have to believe (which is easy for me to say from the outside looking in) that something BETTER will come your way.

To that end, please check out the website of the Advertisers Club of Buffalo. They always have interesting job postings which might be right up your alley. Their website is:

And while you're home, try and be good to yourself. I'll think good thoughts...


tashabud said...

Hey, at least you have a good sense of humor and taking everything in stride. I would have gone postal. Just kidding!!! Good luck to you. Go finish your novel. You already found a fan in me. Truly enjoyed reading your reality blog. He,he,he.