Sunday, March 9, 2008

Chick Flick

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.

"Food for the soul is Salt (we are the salt of the earth), Sugar (draw your energy from the sweetness of the honeycomb), Grease (nothing bad can float out of you when you eat grease), Caffeine (you need to stay awake to feed the soul) and of course, chocolate, because we are women (no explanation needed)."

Chick flick day with Maggie and company.

New snow brush to rid the car of 18 more inches of dreaded snow--$8.
Gas to drive myself to work all week--$3 (it's only 1/2 mile)
Gas to drive the munchkins to their friends houses this week--$53
Tickets to see Penelope on a snowy Saturday--$21
Cost of 4 food groups, Salt, Sugar,Grease, Caffeine & Chocolate for Penelope--$29
Number of patrons in movie on snowy Saturday--8
Length of time we had to wait for the BIG KISS--1 hour 29 minutes
Cost of female bonding time on birthday--PRICELESS

Fun movie day with Maggie and BFF. Ate most of the salt item by the previews. Chewed on the Milk duds until 3/4 into movie. Sucked on 32 ounce Diet Coke until next Tuesday. Laughed and cheered. Movie ends, I yell: "That was good, but I really need to pee." One can not bear twins in a lifetime and expect to have bladder control ever again. Actually, I think it pretty much happens with any birth. They should give you a warning label at the hospital "Patient may now experience a sudden need to pee anytime she in bides more than 4 ounces of liquid. Should this occur, please try to visit the nearest bathroom within in 10 minutes."

Of course, the reality is, that once you have kids, your pee schedule is never again your own. Oh no, you must defer action quite often, but you find you can't. Coffee goes right on by your bladder, needing direct attention now. Diet pop, forget about it, you need the express lane. And God help you should you go to a hear a jazz band, in a small Niagara on the Lake English Pub, and feel a tiny bit British, so you drink the quart lagers. And you mistakenly drink another. And want to go pee, but the Pub now has 300 people in it and the loo is way on the other side of the crowd. It's easier to go back to your hotel room, pee and lay down comatose, so you do.

And then there's the problem of peeing at home. I have seen my DH disappear into the men's room everyday when he gets home from work for 45 minutes at a pop. He's never disturbed. I can't even try to brush my teeth for 30 seconds without the Battle of Imo Jima starting in the kitchen. When they were small, I tried to teach the twins not to talk to Mommy through the door when she is in the bathroom, that she needs the peace of the time alone in there. I thought I really had it figured out, when the notes came under the door.

No, Mom's can't ever expect to pee in private. Once that door shuts, your kids think it just means they have your undivided attention now. They can say anything they want, and you can't pretend to hear it. "Going to Nick's Mom, pick me up at 10." Love it, like it's the express ticket booth at the train station and you can just order a ride.

Well, I did buy a house with 2 bathrooms. And I recently figured out they are all too lazy to run upstairs and see where Mom is. They actually think I've left if they don't see me downstairs. It's like I am in a foreign country when I run up those 12 steps. Or maybe that was just the pile of laundry and books I wadded in to find the bathroom door. And the weird thing, because they hate running upstairs, it's clean in there. And quiet. Oh so quiet. I think I actually spent 7 minutes in there the other day.

Cost of second bathroom on small cape cod house-- Priceless.

1 comment:

Shari Schmidt said...

I love when I try to use the bathroom and the girls have to know where I am. Really? They ignore me for two hours, but the minute I need a little privacy, they are right there. Oh well, soon they will be teenagers and they will ignore me for days.