Twin Hug

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"At least I was born cute. " --cupcake girl to muffin boy

Life with twins has always been exciting. From the sonogram at 6 weeks where the technician announced, "See the two heads" to the modern day hormone wars, you just never know what you might get. Day in, day out, it switches faster then the promos for the weather at 6.

From an early age, the twins were super affectionate with Mom. They figured out early on, that if they snuck up to me, one on either side of me, and each grabbed me at the same time, yelling "Twin Hug," that I would melt like butter and give them whatever they wanted. I just couldn't resist.

From their first birthday on, I always had their birthday parties together. As they got into school, it was kinda neat to have this huge party at home with 30 screaming kids batting at the pinata. They just loved having it together, double cake, double presents, double kids. Lots of fun. Then one morning, a couple of months before their 9th birthday, they each came up to me one morning and pulled the twin hug. Man oh man, I didn't know what was about to come out of their mouths.

"Mom, we want a divorce."
A what? A divorce. Really? Yes, we want our OWN birthdays.

Oh. Well, umm, I can't do that. You see, God gave you your birthdays together. I might have wanted a different scenario then the 40 weeks of double babies, a permanently inflated bladder, and weekly vaginal exams, but God had a different plan. So no, you are stuck with what you got. But they did get to separate their parties for a few years. Cupcake always got to go first, since she is 11 minutes older. 11 long minutes, trust me.

So you see, the words they spring on you, can really surprise you. Twins really do have a different way of looking at things. Mornings tend to bring some pretty exciting verbiage, when the adrenaline is running high to get it done before the bus comes at 8:04. Friday as I dressed I heard the usual,"You're fat. No, you're fat" followed by "You're stupid, no you're stupid. Then the new phrase from cupcake girl, "Well, at least I was born cute."

Mom couldn't help buy burst out laughing at that one, and of course, got caught doing so. Not supposed to be take sides in any verbal wars. Must stay out of it. Must maintain granite face at all times.

"Stop it Mom! It's not Funny! Why does he have to live here anyway?" Hmm, well honey, I don't really know an answer to that one, because God sent you both here at the same time. Silence permeates the air for a full two minutes as she contemplates that one. Wow, maybe I finally stumped her.

"Well, it's time to send him back!"--cupcake

Some days, Mom wants to send you all back, just to be able to have 2 minutes to pee in peace, without hearing, "No, you tell Mom. No, you tell her. " Oh jees, what now???? Can't I ever pee, and just pee?

No, evidently, you lose that right, the minute you conceive.

A Warm Bowl of Love

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"Somethings just don't come in a box."--Me

January in Buffalo. Hmm, it just needs something good to eat. Searched the fridge, empty, of course, since I shopped more than 2 days ago. Looked in the pantry for hidden chocolate. Nope. I know, maybe chocolate chips. Scratch that, cupcake ate them all. I know, butterscotch chips. Zippo. Searched the freezer for leftover Christmas cookies. Wrong. Hidden cookie dough wrapped up in a meat bag. Zilch. Candy hidden in my closet. Eaten, empty box left in it's wake. Chips up on the high shelf in the laundry room, behind the honey and cutout tin. Nothing but dust. Checked my drawer in night stand, just the empty cracker box. Crud.

Crap, I actually might have to get out of my pink polka dot jammies and go to the store. Wait. I have corn starch. Sugar. Cocoa powder and soy milk. I've got it.

Warm pudding. Yum. Wow. Delicious. Shades of "When Harry Met Sally" joy burst out of my mouth as I picture the succulent pudding hitting my tongue, sliding down my throat and heating up my belly from the inside. I get excited thinking about licking the spoon. My eyes moisten and my taste buds start drooling. I get a grin from ear to ear, so big, you'd think I won the lottery. Real joy, real laughter and excitement as I get the stuff out. Truly an event, and I haven't made it in years. Almost as good as raw chocolate chip cookies dough, cinnamon buns straight from the oven or tomato soup and grill cheese lunch. Just the tasty snack I need.

I scald. I measure. I stir, I cook. I can't wait to see my kids faces when they experience it for the first time. They don't get it. I'm making pudding on the stove. No box, real ingredients from scratch.Not with a mixer. Not placing it in the freezer to thicken quickly. But cooking it. And licking the spoon quite often. I am running out of clean spoons to use.

I pour and divide. I lick the pan. I take my bowl and dive in. They come and get theirs. I wait. And wait. Expecting excitement. Anticipating the smiles. Thinking of the thrill. And then it comes.

"What's wrong with instant?"--muffin boy.

Ouch. Never mind, it's just a generational thing I guess.

Snow Day

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"Mom, I want a snow day. Let's move to Virginia."--cupcake, upon hearing that Mrs. Virginia had off of school because it snowed 1 inch in Richmond.

Remember snow days? Oh, the glory of it. Waking up, wandering down to the kitchen where Mom was listening to WBEN AM 930 Radio with Jefferson Kay or Clint Buehleman, hearing the list of closings. In alphabetical order. Dying to hear your school's name. Come on OP! Enough about Nardin Academy and Nichols, tells us about Orchard Park. Sometimes you'd listen to the list for an hour, waiting to hear that our school was closed.

Finally, we'd hear it! Yes, it was closed! Yippee. And out would come the winter gear, and off to BFF's I'd go. We'd play and bake and draw and play in the snow for hours. Have grill cheese and soup for lunch, do it all over again. The best kind of vacation day, unplanned and totally free.No worries. Nothing to get done. No place we had to go. Nothing to do but use our imagination.

When my kids came along, snow days once again became special treats. We'd listen and then stay in our jammies all day. We'd bake chocolate chips cookies, play in bubbles in the sink, put on puppet shows (the stage was chairs, covered in blankets, the puppets stuffed animal friends) and watch favorite movies like "Ghostbusters" and laugh. It was great to take the day off and just play. Just imagine. Just be a kid. Just me and the kids.

We seldom seem to get many snow days now in Buffalo, not even one most years. We had the freak October storm last Columbus day, but really, we just don't get much snow. Nothing on the ground right now. It was 70 degrees here a week ago on Monday. Freaky.

Mrs. Virgina moved to Richmond 15 years ago, in her little Ford Tempo. Got rid of the wool clothes and long underwear. Doesn't own a shovel or the mandatory bucket of salt for the sidewalk. Freedom from the snow.

Then she bought a Ford Explorer. 4x4. Starts getting snow days as she begins her life as a teacher. They don't have snow equipment, so the smallest bit of snow, makes the world shut down. And she's goes out shopping on snow days, laughing, since the snow melts by 10 A.M. She laughs and laughs.

When she met her husband, and brought him up to Buffalo for Christmas, we got a little snow. And more snow. And some more. 8 feet of snow in 48 hours. Most places didn't even shut down. Just cleaned up, and told people to come in when they could. At best, 8 feet bought you one day off. 8 feet. Lots of shoveling, but nothing really shut down. We bought a six pack and stayed home.

After the 8 feet, Mrs. Virgina went home to laugh and laugh again, as she kicked in the 4 wheel drive and headed home to Richmond. And waited for her snow days there when it snows an inch.

Just like the guys always say, size doesn't matter. It's what you do with it that counts.

In Buffalo, we just keeping going on.

The Smurfs

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"Is your neck supposed to be blue??"--cupcake to Wild Child.

Just a dull Tuesday. Learning exciting new duties at work and the brain is a little fried. Not even sure I know my own name or how to drive my car, but I make it home. Looking forward to a little slow review of the training materials and an easy night watching "Gidget Goes Hawaiian."

Walk into the marble foyer with stained glass windows (translation: breezeway with 1950 windows frosted over on the inside during a Buffalo January cold spell) and trip over the large red, white and blue skateboarder shoes. Great, Soccer boy is visiting.

Hi, where are the boys? Doing a science experiment. Oh? That's nice. Change to sweats, go to computer to review more training materials. Check on the boys. Changing into shorts. Hmmm. Okay. Do some work, try to settle down while the twins are yelling "You're fat. No, you're fat. Am not, you're ugly. Well, you're just stupid. Am not. Are too."

Finally, the brain opens. "Science experiment? Hun, you know what they are doing?''No, they said they had homework. Homework, Wild Child hasn't opened a book since he chewed on them as a baby. "I hope they're not building firearms. What did they take up there?" Duct tape and a hair dryer. Duct tape? They don't have muffin boy locked up there, do they?

Walk upstairs, it smells like grape koolaid. Grape. Hmm. Go to bedroom, no boys. Go to bathroom, door is locked. Open up. No, we need 15 minutes. No, open up NOW.

There stands two 14 year old boys, with dark purple die on their heads, with duct tape around their face and ears. And the hair dye has dripped and leaked, well all over. It's dripped down their faces. Their necks have streaks. There's spots on my floor. My beige tub is streaked. They have dripped all over.

You are so dead. Clean this up. Rinse it off. NOW.

Call Soccer boys Dad. Apologize. Ask what he wants me to do? I could shave his head for him. He says, do whatever you want. Well, I may, just shave it to knock some sense into them.

They come down. The heads are kinda black, but the faces and neck, well, look like Smurfs.
Go Shave. Go shower. Go wash it off.

Yuck. Really, you are so dead, I will be on social security before you leave the house. Don't even ask me for anything.

Hey Mom, can I get the blond streak down the middle on Saturday?

BFF....but not today

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

Do you remember the trials and tribulations of junior high? Trying to fit in. Trying to dress the right way so you don't get beaten up on the bus. Trying to hide that first really big case of acne. Dying when you had to dress for swimming in the locker room. Having your first crush. Trying to make new friends and keep the old. Good times and bad, all rolled into one.

My twin girl, little cupcake, went to "Activity Night" at the middle school (think dance for us old timers.) Muffin boy thought the idea of it "sucked." She dressed up and had to be first in line to get her ticket during lunch, in case they sold out. All excited about going. Goes with her friend and meets her other girlfriends. Seems to have a good time.

2 days later she says she has to tell me something. OMG, what. Her BFF, who has been having fights with cupcakes other friend, Miss Betty Crocker, decides she can't be friends with cupcake anymore. Just like that. And announces it to the world. Ouch. But cupcake seems to be handling it okay. We will live and conquer. I think, wow, she is just okay with this. One of her 2 BFF's says that's it, and onward she goes. I remind her to be kind, to still say hi, to not say anything mean about the former friends to other people, to try to show class.

I remind cupcake that God handles all problems for us, we just have to hand them other to him. I talk about putting my problems in a big basket and asking God for guidance, for direction and love. To let us feel peace. Probably too much for a kid to absorb, I get that. And I remind myself to take my own advice. To give my problems to God.

I was recently deeply hurt by a friend, when I remembered my talk with cupcake. Hand it over. Let God be your guide and director on this one. See yourself to peace. It's easy to give in. To cry and see only the downside, which is that you don't have that friend anymore. But the greater good, is when we give thanks, and anticipate the good that is right around the corner.
It may not stop the tears from falling, but it will help you feel rejuvenated by them instead. Feel the renewal and cleansing of the tears. See the healing power of letting it all go.

Or, on a bad day, just picture taking the person who hurt you, and getting a big nut cracker, and putting them in it. Really absurd I know, but also really satisfying.

Have, whatever makes you smile today.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.



Sometimes, paying attention to the things your kids say can surprise you more then you think. They can cause your hormones to rise to Mt. St. Helen's erupting levels one minute, and fill you with unexpected joy the next. I often wish it wasn't all in the same ten minutes in the morning when you are rushing to start your day, but so be it.



It's in the slowing down and really pulling into their words our hearts, that we grow and are rewarded. It's a little piece of God, reminding us of the everyday joys.



Driving in the Car: Always an experience. This one's too hot, this one's too cold. Usually, it's that we can't the heat going fast enough (we do like in Buffalo). So, yesterday, when we hopped in the car and cranked the heat, I had it at turned to a tropical 85 degrees. At home, I often fight over the temperature with DH, who likes it cold. He can run around in a blizzard in a tee shirt and be happy. So there I was cranking it, and not even noticing that I do this. And twin muffin boy gets in and feels the heat, commenting, "Wow, how nice to have your own space Mom. You can crank it as hot as you want!"



Facing Traffic Jams: It often jams up on Main street by our house. You barely get in the lane, and then you sit. Sometimes its 3 lights, and you think you will get to the other side, and don't. You sit, stuck in first place, being supremely irritated at this. And twin muffin boy comments again "Cool! You are in first place! You'll win the race for sure Mom!"



Watching TV preachers (who me? Where's the beef?). I get up today in time to catch Joel Osteen's Sunday message. I tend to sleep past this point, but I got up and was happy. The twins are cuddled in blankets, zoning out to Sponge Bob. I tell them I am changing the channel and they are happy to join in and listen, to pause and think about the message. Today Joel talks about changing your attitude. Seeing your problems as "light afflictions" instead of the end of the world. I tell the twins to give Thanks and count your blessings. Change your attitude about Joel and give him a chance, its only 30 minutes a week.



I think maybe it's working, when Muffin Boy smiles, looks at the computer and whispers to his sister, "Thank God it's only 15 more minutes."



You just can't help but smiling and laughing everyday.

Thank you

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"Thank you, God."--Wayne Dyer, from "Change your thoughts and Change your life."

Wayne Dyer talks about starting each day with meditation and prayer. This may be an overwhelming concept for some people, so he suggests simply starting with "Thank you. Thank you, God. Thank you for this day." Feel the silence, take the time to be grateful. Give thanks. Count your blessings. Start your day from a point of living in God's grace by recognizing his vast rewards in our life.

This is often a difficult concept to teach to our children. We get up each and start running at full speed to accomplish everything we need to do in the rush of the morning. Slow down and be quiet are foreign languages. Just the other day, I got up late, and 4 of us had to shower, dress, eat and get driven to school for extra test prep classes, in a scant 30 minute time period. It was loud, it was rushed, at times I was sure WWIII had erupted when we couldn't find what we needed in the exact 2 minutes. Even the dog was looking frantic and harried, running around with her bone from one kid to the next, hoping someone could play.

Time to plan better. Get stuff out the night before. Maybe get some baths in early on days we need to go in early (But bad hair that looks like we stuck our finger in a socket would be the result. I think we might scare the young neighbors and scar their little brains for life.)

Or maybe we just need to slow down, and enjoy the rush of quickness. Having to get ready fast is it's own ride, a joy just to see if we can accomplish it. It can make you smile and laugh if you let it. Enjoy each situation and remember to give thanks, and see the good. Count your blessings.

My friend, Mrs. Super Mom, is getting a transfer at work. It's hard to be real happy at first glance, because it's a lateral move, and not a full promotion as she wanted, no extra money. Office politics have played a hand, and she will need to work smart and do some damage control in the new place. She wishes it was all pizazz instead. She wants the joy.

Well, let's stop and slow down a minute. The new job is closer, saving her 20 minutes ride in and back each day. 20 minutes. I would kill for that extra time and she will have it. She will save $1560 dollars in gas. Wow, that's vacation money. She will have a new opportunity to begin again and prove herself. A fresh start, at last, instead of the mediocrity she was working under. The new boss will be a district person, so Mrs. Super Mom will be in charge quite a bit. Nice. The new boss is a better human being, willing to listen and trains and inspire her employees. That will be so empowering to work under.

Oh, and did I mention a fresh start? How many times do we get those?

So, look within and find the good. Slow down, and give thanks. Even if that's the only prayer today, let's do it.

New Year's Resolutions

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"Is this from when YOU were our age? You know, like the 1950's"--cupcake twin, commenting on my choice of Eurthymics music video on You Tube

I actually made some resolutions this year. Me, miss anti-resolution got all sentimental and went hog wild. Liked them so much I emailed them to friends and myself at work.

Cared so little about them I didn't save them anywhere. (Hey guys, can you send them back to me so I know what I am doing????)


I remember the most important one (okay, I numbered it number one, so I must have decided it was the cat's meow of resolutions.)

1. LAUGH EVERYDAY

My work friend Mr. Comedy often talks about laughing with his kids. Talks about watching a movie or TV show and then describes the scene and the general jocularity. Mentions surfing the net and sharing jokes with college bound son. Tells funny stories about his 3 cats. Yes, 3, he is a little deranged. And I laugh right along and get silly.

But then I realized. I work 2 jobs. I struggle to exercise in the morning and keep the house going at night. I carpool the kids everywhere. But when do I take the time to laugh with them? When did the joy I got everyday when they were little and I was home playing with them, disappear?

So I made it a priority this year. Laugh with my kids. Laugh at the news. And laugh at the absurd things which drive us nuts at work. You know, like being told by 3 different people at the same time, that they need something RIGHT now. OK, like that is a possibility. Laugh and feel the joy, even when it's a Wednesday edition of Monday morning blues.

Tonight we surfed You Tube. JKL Productions has a ton of teenage made videos which are just silly. Fred on Halloween2. Fred goes to the Park. Fred gets Babysat. The Tooth Fairy. Hilarious. I was dying. And its just the type of thing we would joke about back in the dark ages of high school. When we had to do it live, in a conversation, or in notes in Mr. Streit's physics class at Orchard Park High. Laughing at everyday things in life. Seeing the absurd. And letting the joy out. Doing Monty Python jokes with Kevin and Sandi and Erik in the hallways. And just being happy.

Another resolution was to not settle for mediocrity. Do a job right the first time. Hit the mark on the first try. Life purposefully, and not aimlessly. Life your best life now. Have dreams. Have faith. Have goals.

The Queen wants to go to Italy at the end of September. I have $214 already for the trip. My goal it to go with her. Or at least die laughing while I try to save the money while raising 3 kids.

Send me your resolutions and let's talk...or at least, send me my own back so I can see what exactly I wrote after that bottle of New Year's bubbly!