Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can be, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.
The jihad rages on at our house, with no one listening, no one laughing and supposedly, everyone else gets what they want but "XXXX". Fill in the names here for your home, "She always, he always, you always, yada, yada, lots of whining here, but never me." Territories gets staked, angry words get hurled and the daily hiding of remotes & Xbox controllers become the secret battle of the front lines as the war escalates. Life sure was simpler when I could just have them go outside and play in those orange and yellow cars or ride the Big Wheel.
Sure, these battles only last minutes a day now and for the most part life is joyous and fun, but its the lingering effects General Mom worries about. I picked up an old classic at the library book sale a few weeks ago, "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, with the intent to get some fresh approaches for an ongoing turf battle at work that I desired to have come to an end. I believe I read this an part of a UB PR class decades ago, but apparently only retained a smidgen of it. Written in the 1930s (yes, during the depression), Dale harnessed some important principles and noted wonderful lessons learned by some of our countries great leaders; Ben Franklin, Theodore Roosevelt and even Abraham Lincoln. As I read I was astonished to think these great leaders at one point wrestled with some of the same issues I have in life for listening and communicating, in that, I had a strong overwhelming desire to take charge, assert my opinion and tell people when they are wrong, especially when they are, and no one wants to listen. Frankly, it never helps matters to tell someone they are wrong. It just makes them dig in harder and not give up their position and then they hate, or at the very least, stomp up to their room.
What, no mudslinging? No name calling? Where's great magic technique I was looking for here? What do you mean Abraham Lincoln had to learn this?
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5: Talk in Terms of the other person interests.
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely. (We all go through life wanting to feel important, to know what we do matters, that our viewpoint is validated, that our daily lives are appreciated).
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with other persons ideas and desires.
Dale Carnegie talked about never telling the other people they are wrong, even if they are. People need to feel important and will always deny they are wrong and then nothing will be gained. Lincoln, Franklin and Roosevelt all actually had to be taught these lessons and changed their lives when they did so. They needed to be educated. If it can work for them, maybe I can use this at home and at work.
I started with the basics: Become genuinely interested in the other people and smile, use their name, inquire about their families and their day. Say hi Jack, hi Bob and take a minute to inquire about their health, their day, their family, their favorite teams. Begin with the basic human connection. I like starting the day at home sharing coffee with the twins and at night asking for a story about everyone's day. Smiling and saying names matters. Don't sweat the small stuff. I began to find my days got easier and smoother.
In the middle of reading this book, I had to stop and go back to a wonderful book a friend gave me to read, "Three Cups of Tea; One Man's Mission to Promote Peace...One School at a Time" by Greg Mortenson (http://www.threecupsoftea.com/). Lynne invited me to hear him speak this past week at UB as part of their lecturer series. I confess I am still slowly absorbing the book and the ideas of one man deciding to build schools for girls in Afghanistan and Pakistan through the Central Asia Institute ( http://www.ikat.org/). Education in the key as I always tell my kids. Learn your whole life, it's important and it never ends. And I give them the example of my learning about computers coming 10 years after I left college and then running a website becoming my main job 30 years later, all skills I learned one stop at a time. Ask questions, inquire, be shown, take those training sessions even when its not part of your job, be aware, grow. It never ends.
Greg Mortenson talks about sharing 3 Cups of Tea in his mission to get permission and support for his ideas to build schools for girls. First cup of tea, you are strangers, Second Cup of tea, you are a friend, Third Cup of tea you are family and they will lay down their life to protect you and help you. The third cup can take years and its a matter of respect and acceptance of you, but also they know you respect them. So to get education to be approved for girls by the building of schools, Greg had to begin by respecting and listening to other cultures, not go in shoving down the American ideas that everyone is entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. See, educating girls changes and at the same time respects the Muslim culture because woman are the key in their culture. Boys who are educated leave their villages and do not share their knowledge, woman who are educated share and educate their communities. Woman who can read have better hygiene, which saves millions of lives from disease; have less children; which reduces the world-wide population explosion and woman who are educated will change the world by rising against senseless death and destruction and educating their communities to do the same.
Did you know that in Muslin countries before men go on a jihad, they must get the permission of their mothers? Yes, their mothers. Just think how few might get approved if the woman really understood the choices available instead when they are educated.
I tell my kids repeatedly, the world is ever changing and you must change with it, but in some respects, it remains the same. The basic tenets of family and community reign supreme and to solve many world problems you must start there, you must understand them and be educated by them. During the UB lecture, Greg Mortenson talked about his book becoming mandatory reading in the US military and many great universities of this land, all starting with General Petraeus, Commander of US forces in Afghanistan. And who who educated the General on this great book? His wife, Holly.
Mortenson shared these principles that General Petraeus pulled from the book:
Build Relationships
Listen More(especially from the other person's point of view)
Respect & humility (their communities and families)
Wow, the same issues that Ben Franklin talked about 200 years ago, that Dale Carnegie wrote about in his book, the same things Greg took as the key to get permission to change the world by educating the children in a different way, are the same things our great commanders like General Petraeus, are instructing their troops on today.
I was awed when I noted this in the presentation. Greg also told an interesting story about meeting the Taliban, the same big bad Taliban that is out to kill Americans and who regularly took all their bombs to blow-up the schools where the tiny little girls go to schools, as if they were afraid of them. These same Taliban were open to discussing maybe allowing a school to be built and Greg took them for a tour of another school and the playground. What happened? The Taliban dropped their guns, and ran to play on the slides & swings. They stayed their for 90 minutes and then said he could build a school as long as it had a playground.
Greg showed respect and listened and the Taliban said yes. He didn't condemn them or their culture, or tell them they were wrong; he listened. Maybe it IS just the simple things of caring and giving people the basics of humanity, to listen and show respect. Maybe all we need to do in Afghanistan is build playgrounds so everyone can have fun instead of war.
Any maybe all I need to do is find a big wheel that fits a 6 footer.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Always a kid
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.
Mom's day with the parents is always amusing--for my kids. They love that my parents treat me as a teenager. It gives them great giggles to see a Mom they don't know, who get hollered at for not cleaning up the mess, told she drives too fast and gets a "what the hell are you wearing look" whenever she visits. I have come to believe its the highlight of their day, and often brings up funny stories for weeks after when they repeat my parents comments to me at opportune moments. Somehow, I can manage multi-million businesses but don't know how to dress myself or eat properly.
Well, I know my parents have nothing but love for me at they make the comments they always have. I often wonder if we just lose the ability to see anything else but the little children when we look at our kids. While its great to see in them the countless hugs, the bath time kisses and cuddle time watching a video on Fridays, its not good to only see the times they were human and let us down by making bad choices or not doing things the way we would have. Its a delicate balance and one we all fail at once in awhile.
I often thought an amusing TV show would be one with parents who second guess every choice they ever made with their kids. Every calammity that happens now is directly related to something in the past in their minds. We see the child climbing out of the crib and the parents laughing, and flash forward to the teenager sneaking out of the window late at night. But now the parents have the ability to go back, and change the original decision, and we get to see a new outcome. So instead of laughing at the child, they sit on him and refuse to let him out of the crib, and then a whole other set of problems develops, like the inability to walk or explore. Sort of "Back to the Future" for families.
The problem is of course, the reality would keep changing too much and who knows what the outcome would be . Severely messed up I am sure. Great TV comedy, but bad reality TV. It is pretty easy to second guess ourselves during stress about the choices we have made and how we got where we are.
Raising kids is a delicate balancing act and sometimes driving the boat backwards seems easier.
But the reality is that the wake of the boat is behind us. We can't turn around are have the water lay back down. We can't re drive the paths we have travelled, we can only go forward. We can't hit reverse, drive back to the hospital and put the baby back in (and who really wants to stay up all night teething again??). I often say during times of trouble that they can't be mine, I was drugged up and think I was given the wrong baby...but then my husband reminds me I didn't take drugs during the birth, it was only after that I needed to take meds to deal with permanent seats in detention, principals with direct lines to your office and modern day teenage rivalry via video tapes on You Tube and texting insults at the speed of light. What ever happened to crying over simple phone calls and passing notes in math class? Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore.
Despite all this, its still fun on a daily basis. Often we look back a year later and laugh about the crap that drove us to drink, like the time my son drove a go-cart 8 miles down Transit Road to pick up a friend, and ran out of gas on the way back. Of course, he had to call Dad to come pick him up. What a phone call that was. Or that Maggie regularly jumped on her twin Luke as a toddler to bite him on his back. "It was her only defense." I was afraid to go to the doctor with them for 3 years because I was sure they would think I was biting them.
So whatever it is the kids have done now, it will pass. It's too easy to see every wrong thing they ever did and not see how much they have grown and changed, or see the person they are NOW. Its the cause of many fights and also many hugs and kisses. Groundings become moments to reconnect and reconfigure. We need to try and adapt to who they are now, not the child they were.
All that being said, I have to go take Maverick out of time out. Its time for his sippy cup as we drive to go visit our new best friend, the high school principal.
Mom's day with the parents is always amusing--for my kids. They love that my parents treat me as a teenager. It gives them great giggles to see a Mom they don't know, who get hollered at for not cleaning up the mess, told she drives too fast and gets a "what the hell are you wearing look" whenever she visits. I have come to believe its the highlight of their day, and often brings up funny stories for weeks after when they repeat my parents comments to me at opportune moments. Somehow, I can manage multi-million businesses but don't know how to dress myself or eat properly.
Well, I know my parents have nothing but love for me at they make the comments they always have. I often wonder if we just lose the ability to see anything else but the little children when we look at our kids. While its great to see in them the countless hugs, the bath time kisses and cuddle time watching a video on Fridays, its not good to only see the times they were human and let us down by making bad choices or not doing things the way we would have. Its a delicate balance and one we all fail at once in awhile.
I often thought an amusing TV show would be one with parents who second guess every choice they ever made with their kids. Every calammity that happens now is directly related to something in the past in their minds. We see the child climbing out of the crib and the parents laughing, and flash forward to the teenager sneaking out of the window late at night. But now the parents have the ability to go back, and change the original decision, and we get to see a new outcome. So instead of laughing at the child, they sit on him and refuse to let him out of the crib, and then a whole other set of problems develops, like the inability to walk or explore. Sort of "Back to the Future" for families.
The problem is of course, the reality would keep changing too much and who knows what the outcome would be . Severely messed up I am sure. Great TV comedy, but bad reality TV. It is pretty easy to second guess ourselves during stress about the choices we have made and how we got where we are.
Raising kids is a delicate balancing act and sometimes driving the boat backwards seems easier.
But the reality is that the wake of the boat is behind us. We can't turn around are have the water lay back down. We can't re drive the paths we have travelled, we can only go forward. We can't hit reverse, drive back to the hospital and put the baby back in (and who really wants to stay up all night teething again??). I often say during times of trouble that they can't be mine, I was drugged up and think I was given the wrong baby...but then my husband reminds me I didn't take drugs during the birth, it was only after that I needed to take meds to deal with permanent seats in detention, principals with direct lines to your office and modern day teenage rivalry via video tapes on You Tube and texting insults at the speed of light. What ever happened to crying over simple phone calls and passing notes in math class? Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore.
Despite all this, its still fun on a daily basis. Often we look back a year later and laugh about the crap that drove us to drink, like the time my son drove a go-cart 8 miles down Transit Road to pick up a friend, and ran out of gas on the way back. Of course, he had to call Dad to come pick him up. What a phone call that was. Or that Maggie regularly jumped on her twin Luke as a toddler to bite him on his back. "It was her only defense." I was afraid to go to the doctor with them for 3 years because I was sure they would think I was biting them.
So whatever it is the kids have done now, it will pass. It's too easy to see every wrong thing they ever did and not see how much they have grown and changed, or see the person they are NOW. Its the cause of many fights and also many hugs and kisses. Groundings become moments to reconnect and reconfigure. We need to try and adapt to who they are now, not the child they were.
All that being said, I have to go take Maverick out of time out. Its time for his sippy cup as we drive to go visit our new best friend, the high school principal.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Dinner for the Week in 60 mins
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Just do it needs to be my motto for the year. I tend to procrastinate big time and use any excuse to do something else. It comes down to organization mostly.
The kids are off school today and wanted to see a movie last night. I put off cleaning and weekly chores on Saturday, so I had to do them yesterday. Normally, Sunday is cooking day. I make the big old-fashioned Sunday dinner and usually at least one more thing for during the week.
So, here it was crunch time, I cleaned, its time to cook and I was blowing it off, or I might of, but I decided instead to have Maggie and Luke help me, so I could do my 3 hours of cooking in an hour. It was the price they had to pay for fitting the movie in around Sunday dinner. As we rushed, DH kept asking what we were doing, and they replied "Cooking for the week." And we did, in an hour. Pretty much side dishes need to finished, but all meals should be assembled and heated in less than 30 mins this week.
We made: Pasta con Vodka sauce with chicken. I have started making my sauce, so I made a huge triple batch, split some out, made it into vodka sauce, which I made a double of. Cooked chicken and pasta, and finished it. Put double Pot roast in oven, half will be beef stew another night. Baked chicken wings and strips of plain chicken for me (trying to be good.). Twins mixed up and rolled meatballs (no Luke, half-pounders do NOT work here) and baked them. Nice to have a double oven to play with. Kids also made a huge bowl of salad and cut up veggies for wing night.
We save a lot by not making convenience meals or take out. I try to show them real food doesn't take too long and is fun. We also started making our own cappuccino mix. They can make it hot or cold. For about $6, we make a huge 3 pound coffee can that last the 3 of them 2 weeks.
Now if I could only automate laundry into an hour a week, I'd have it made.
Just do it needs to be my motto for the year. I tend to procrastinate big time and use any excuse to do something else. It comes down to organization mostly.
The kids are off school today and wanted to see a movie last night. I put off cleaning and weekly chores on Saturday, so I had to do them yesterday. Normally, Sunday is cooking day. I make the big old-fashioned Sunday dinner and usually at least one more thing for during the week.
So, here it was crunch time, I cleaned, its time to cook and I was blowing it off, or I might of, but I decided instead to have Maggie and Luke help me, so I could do my 3 hours of cooking in an hour. It was the price they had to pay for fitting the movie in around Sunday dinner. As we rushed, DH kept asking what we were doing, and they replied "Cooking for the week." And we did, in an hour. Pretty much side dishes need to finished, but all meals should be assembled and heated in less than 30 mins this week.
We made: Pasta con Vodka sauce with chicken. I have started making my sauce, so I made a huge triple batch, split some out, made it into vodka sauce, which I made a double of. Cooked chicken and pasta, and finished it. Put double Pot roast in oven, half will be beef stew another night. Baked chicken wings and strips of plain chicken for me (trying to be good.). Twins mixed up and rolled meatballs (no Luke, half-pounders do NOT work here) and baked them. Nice to have a double oven to play with. Kids also made a huge bowl of salad and cut up veggies for wing night.
We save a lot by not making convenience meals or take out. I try to show them real food doesn't take too long and is fun. We also started making our own cappuccino mix. They can make it hot or cold. For about $6, we make a huge 3 pound coffee can that last the 3 of them 2 weeks.
Now if I could only automate laundry into an hour a week, I'd have it made.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
A Twin Christmas
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
One of the my favorite things to do at Christmas is to joke and talk about Christmas past. My children love to connect and share the history of their young lives over and over again. I started a Christmas journal years ago where I write about the holiday, who we visited with, what presents we exchanged, and how their lives are at that point in time. It's fun to do and wonderful to read.
The twins especially love to hear stories of our lives in the house when they were mere toddlers. We live in a tiny Cape Cod style house and only have the living room to keep the twins safe in. Like all parents, we child proofed the room and put away glass objects when they were small. Since Maverick is 3 years older, pretty much the room was kid safe. Or as we learned, kid safe is never twin safe.
We learned early that twins are more like combat troopers than toddlers. I am pretty sure the hospital should have sent us to boot camp to prepare instead of telling us how to change diapers. Look, we changed over 10,000 diapers but we never had twins in a room with a Christmas tree and presents before. I want to write a lecture "10,000 diapers and only one you. Guerrilla Momfare Survival Techniques Your Grandma Never Told You."
First, once the twins started to run marathons at age 9 months, we put the gate up on the living room to keep them in there during times of answering phones, taking pots out of oven and Mom trying to shower, pee and do her hair in under 5 minutes. Storm a gate with 2 bodies and it will come down. Buy another, stronger gate, same thing. Have husband build custom 3 foot gate with 2 inch plywood and slates to hold it in place, and now you have something. In the twins must stay, so what else can we do for fun? Oh, grab at pretty lamp shades and see what's in there that is shiny and burn your hand. Out goes lamps. Stand on brother to climb on end tables. Remove end tables. Run to Mom's bookcase and pull off pretty books, again, and again and again. Mom puts bookcase in bedroom. Hmm, room is kinda bare now, lets' climb on back of couch and touch pretty pictures on walls. Crash, boom, all pictures come down. Remove all objects on walls. Let's beat on TV entertainment center and climb in,. Put TV on floor. Not much left now, let's go in rocker. Rock, rock, right into wall and leave large holes in drywall that makes Daddy nuts. Out goes rocker.
And then we put up the Christmas tree. We were proactive, and took a large piece of leftover paneling and tied down tree stand. This prevented tipping of tree. No ornaments or lights on bottom, only top one foot. And no cover, let just keep taking it off tree stand and rolling in it. No presents, because ripping of paper is fun--Mom only needed to rewrap about 10 times to learn this, dumb mommy. So there we were with our bare room, only couch, love seat, and TV on floor, and a tied down Christmas tree. Still, it never looked lovelier. God decorated the room for me, with my beautiful family and our time together.
As I appr0ached this Christmas with the twins at age 12 and Maverick at 15, I was reminded of that sparse holiday. Money is beyond tight this season, so presents got less. But somehow, everywhere I turned I found exactly what I needed for my budget. Again and again I went to the well, dipped in my greedy hands for a drink, and God filled it up. Shirts were on clearance at Abercrombie for my god daughters. A sweatshirt that was really cool, price $100 was on sale for $35, so I could do the combined birthday-Christmas for my godson. Jeans were half the price I normally pay on sale. Flannel shirts appeared in perfect order at thrift store. Friends sent gift cards and gave me never been worn winter coats for Maggie. I found a great deal for Luke on a coat. The kids gave me small gift lists and seemed happy to get a few things. And then I got a great discount on a gift for my boss to make up for puking in his truck. Seems everyone loves a good story involving vomit and screaming at a new boss to drive faster and pass that granny going 20, who knew?
All around me abundance abounds. I don't have my cookies baked, my gifts wrapped or my house scrubbed. I am pretty sure laundry won't get caught up until 2010 and eggnog better double for Christmas eve dinner, or I am in trouble. I have bags under my eyes from trying to work while recovering from major surgery and somehow put on the Christmas pageant that takes weeks to orchestrate, a year to save up for, 5 minutes to unwrap, and lasts a lifetime.
And I wouldn't have it any other way. Chaos is bliss because it means that God trusts me with so much. I will work to remind us all that Christmas past is about the love and connections. Its the stories we share, like Jesus and Mary's travels and trials on that first Christmas. Ours just get richer with the retelling,
Share your stories this holiday season, just as we do in church and in the bible and in our prayers. Let them out and sing Joy to the World today.
God Bless and Merry Christmas.
One of the my favorite things to do at Christmas is to joke and talk about Christmas past. My children love to connect and share the history of their young lives over and over again. I started a Christmas journal years ago where I write about the holiday, who we visited with, what presents we exchanged, and how their lives are at that point in time. It's fun to do and wonderful to read.
The twins especially love to hear stories of our lives in the house when they were mere toddlers. We live in a tiny Cape Cod style house and only have the living room to keep the twins safe in. Like all parents, we child proofed the room and put away glass objects when they were small. Since Maverick is 3 years older, pretty much the room was kid safe. Or as we learned, kid safe is never twin safe.
We learned early that twins are more like combat troopers than toddlers. I am pretty sure the hospital should have sent us to boot camp to prepare instead of telling us how to change diapers. Look, we changed over 10,000 diapers but we never had twins in a room with a Christmas tree and presents before. I want to write a lecture "10,000 diapers and only one you. Guerrilla Momfare Survival Techniques Your Grandma Never Told You."
First, once the twins started to run marathons at age 9 months, we put the gate up on the living room to keep them in there during times of answering phones, taking pots out of oven and Mom trying to shower, pee and do her hair in under 5 minutes. Storm a gate with 2 bodies and it will come down. Buy another, stronger gate, same thing. Have husband build custom 3 foot gate with 2 inch plywood and slates to hold it in place, and now you have something. In the twins must stay, so what else can we do for fun? Oh, grab at pretty lamp shades and see what's in there that is shiny and burn your hand. Out goes lamps. Stand on brother to climb on end tables. Remove end tables. Run to Mom's bookcase and pull off pretty books, again, and again and again. Mom puts bookcase in bedroom. Hmm, room is kinda bare now, lets' climb on back of couch and touch pretty pictures on walls. Crash, boom, all pictures come down. Remove all objects on walls. Let's beat on TV entertainment center and climb in,. Put TV on floor. Not much left now, let's go in rocker. Rock, rock, right into wall and leave large holes in drywall that makes Daddy nuts. Out goes rocker.
And then we put up the Christmas tree. We were proactive, and took a large piece of leftover paneling and tied down tree stand. This prevented tipping of tree. No ornaments or lights on bottom, only top one foot. And no cover, let just keep taking it off tree stand and rolling in it. No presents, because ripping of paper is fun--Mom only needed to rewrap about 10 times to learn this, dumb mommy. So there we were with our bare room, only couch, love seat, and TV on floor, and a tied down Christmas tree. Still, it never looked lovelier. God decorated the room for me, with my beautiful family and our time together.
As I appr0ached this Christmas with the twins at age 12 and Maverick at 15, I was reminded of that sparse holiday. Money is beyond tight this season, so presents got less. But somehow, everywhere I turned I found exactly what I needed for my budget. Again and again I went to the well, dipped in my greedy hands for a drink, and God filled it up. Shirts were on clearance at Abercrombie for my god daughters. A sweatshirt that was really cool, price $100 was on sale for $35, so I could do the combined birthday-Christmas for my godson. Jeans were half the price I normally pay on sale. Flannel shirts appeared in perfect order at thrift store. Friends sent gift cards and gave me never been worn winter coats for Maggie. I found a great deal for Luke on a coat. The kids gave me small gift lists and seemed happy to get a few things. And then I got a great discount on a gift for my boss to make up for puking in his truck. Seems everyone loves a good story involving vomit and screaming at a new boss to drive faster and pass that granny going 20, who knew?
All around me abundance abounds. I don't have my cookies baked, my gifts wrapped or my house scrubbed. I am pretty sure laundry won't get caught up until 2010 and eggnog better double for Christmas eve dinner, or I am in trouble. I have bags under my eyes from trying to work while recovering from major surgery and somehow put on the Christmas pageant that takes weeks to orchestrate, a year to save up for, 5 minutes to unwrap, and lasts a lifetime.
And I wouldn't have it any other way. Chaos is bliss because it means that God trusts me with so much. I will work to remind us all that Christmas past is about the love and connections. Its the stories we share, like Jesus and Mary's travels and trials on that first Christmas. Ours just get richer with the retelling,
Share your stories this holiday season, just as we do in church and in the bible and in our prayers. Let them out and sing Joy to the World today.
God Bless and Merry Christmas.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Trick or Treat
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness--George Santayana
My 15th Halloween with my kids already. I can hardly believe it. This year I have a candy corn witch, a banana and a gangster. Yes, Maverick is trick or treating again. So if a 6 foot banana shows up at your door, don't be alarmed, just give him the contents of your refrigerator and you'll be fine. He doesn't eat much, just everything not tied down, especially skittles and Swedish fish, and maybe all your peanut butter and white bread too. He thinks a serving size of juice is a 2 quart bottle, but hey, he's learning to cook at his dish washing job, so maybe he will get refined tastes, like wheat pasta instead of ramien noodles. Yes, and I hope and believe in all the good things in life.
My costume this year is still the sweat pants, Red cross blood donor tee shirt and Aeropostle sweat shirt that I have been in about 8 months now. I used to get up, write, work out from 530 to 640, shower, get kid one up and yell at him to step closer to the soap today, pack my lunch, get kid two up and hook up her intravenous coffee, do my hair and makeup, yell at kid three to go shave and get a move on, let the dog out, sign papers, check email, unload dishwasher, reload dishwasher, start laundry, empty garbage, get something out for dinner, and leave for work; all in one hour.
Well, now, I roll over, crawl to the stairs, yell "Luke! Maggie! Get up, " stumble back to bed and pull the covers over my head. Luke makes coffee and hops in the shower. Maggie crawls in bed with me and says yet again that she is too tired to go to school. I turn on the news, cover up the dog, turn on a light, listen to the news, yell at Maggie to actually drink the coffee so she doesn't have to sit on the bottom of the shower to wake up, ask Luke to get something out for breakfast, yell up to Maverick to wake up and pile on more covers to keep warm while sipping my coffee. If I am lucky, I pull on sweats and drive the kids to school, but some days, (shh, don't tell anyone) I drive in my pink polka dot Jammie's. Then I get home, do Tai Chi, meditate to Wayne Dyer, do some writing and maybe look at job postings. Afternoons I do some more writing and a little house work, go to the park, visit the deer, come home, nap, and then do some more work. I am usually functional by 4 in the afternoon when the kids come home.
Well, that's all over for me now. One week of vacation before the I have to pull the big girl panties on and get back to work. Finally, someone believes I can do a job for them. Okay, so it took 12 hours of interviews and some whining to get the job, but at last, I have one.
Back to the gym and more regular schedules for me. Stop watching Leno and Conan. Actually get to sleep at a normal time. Eat real meals, not nachos for dinner. Know what day it is without having to consult a calender again.
Yes, its true, I do have abilities far reaching and its time to get there. Thank you to the Queen for networking and getting me a wonderful lead. Thank you to God for answering my prayers. And thank you to all my friends who helped me through this extended nap time. I couldn't have done it without you.
Now we just have to see if this is a trick or a treat of a job. But the really cool thing, after wearing silk long underwear, 2 pairs of socks and gloves to type at my last job----just a tad cold in the office--now I have my own thermostat. I am so excited. I can set my own temperature. I don't even have to fight with my always hot DH to turn it up. Wow.
Trick or treat, I'm ready. It was this or I would have gone out collecting candy tonight as a bag woman. Thank God for this, children really don't need to be scared tonight by me. Have fun, and save some snickers for me.
Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness--George Santayana
My 15th Halloween with my kids already. I can hardly believe it. This year I have a candy corn witch, a banana and a gangster. Yes, Maverick is trick or treating again. So if a 6 foot banana shows up at your door, don't be alarmed, just give him the contents of your refrigerator and you'll be fine. He doesn't eat much, just everything not tied down, especially skittles and Swedish fish, and maybe all your peanut butter and white bread too. He thinks a serving size of juice is a 2 quart bottle, but hey, he's learning to cook at his dish washing job, so maybe he will get refined tastes, like wheat pasta instead of ramien noodles. Yes, and I hope and believe in all the good things in life.
My costume this year is still the sweat pants, Red cross blood donor tee shirt and Aeropostle sweat shirt that I have been in about 8 months now. I used to get up, write, work out from 530 to 640, shower, get kid one up and yell at him to step closer to the soap today, pack my lunch, get kid two up and hook up her intravenous coffee, do my hair and makeup, yell at kid three to go shave and get a move on, let the dog out, sign papers, check email, unload dishwasher, reload dishwasher, start laundry, empty garbage, get something out for dinner, and leave for work; all in one hour.
Well, now, I roll over, crawl to the stairs, yell "Luke! Maggie! Get up, " stumble back to bed and pull the covers over my head. Luke makes coffee and hops in the shower. Maggie crawls in bed with me and says yet again that she is too tired to go to school. I turn on the news, cover up the dog, turn on a light, listen to the news, yell at Maggie to actually drink the coffee so she doesn't have to sit on the bottom of the shower to wake up, ask Luke to get something out for breakfast, yell up to Maverick to wake up and pile on more covers to keep warm while sipping my coffee. If I am lucky, I pull on sweats and drive the kids to school, but some days, (shh, don't tell anyone) I drive in my pink polka dot Jammie's. Then I get home, do Tai Chi, meditate to Wayne Dyer, do some writing and maybe look at job postings. Afternoons I do some more writing and a little house work, go to the park, visit the deer, come home, nap, and then do some more work. I am usually functional by 4 in the afternoon when the kids come home.
Well, that's all over for me now. One week of vacation before the I have to pull the big girl panties on and get back to work. Finally, someone believes I can do a job for them. Okay, so it took 12 hours of interviews and some whining to get the job, but at last, I have one.
Back to the gym and more regular schedules for me. Stop watching Leno and Conan. Actually get to sleep at a normal time. Eat real meals, not nachos for dinner. Know what day it is without having to consult a calender again.
Yes, its true, I do have abilities far reaching and its time to get there. Thank you to the Queen for networking and getting me a wonderful lead. Thank you to God for answering my prayers. And thank you to all my friends who helped me through this extended nap time. I couldn't have done it without you.
Now we just have to see if this is a trick or a treat of a job. But the really cool thing, after wearing silk long underwear, 2 pairs of socks and gloves to type at my last job----just a tad cold in the office--now I have my own thermostat. I am so excited. I can set my own temperature. I don't even have to fight with my always hot DH to turn it up. Wow.
Trick or treat, I'm ready. It was this or I would have gone out collecting candy tonight as a bag woman. Thank God for this, children really don't need to be scared tonight by me. Have fun, and save some snickers for me.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Cooking Kids or is it Kids' Cooking?
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Summer and the living is easy. Cooking switches between the fun and the inventive and the quick and lazy. Now that the kids are older, I can often say "why don't you cook tonight." Luke will whip together something tried and true like eggs and turkey bacon; Maggie gets out the cook book and starts reading. The other night she pulled out Campbell's Summer Recipes, all using Campbell's soup. She made a nice chicken and rice dish which had tomatoes--oh, skip the tomatoes, Maggie hates them; peppers--use the fresh from the garden, nope Mom, I don't want to--golden corn Campbell's soup--oops, don't have that, use cream of chicken...still, it was the classic chicken and rice which is a favorite standby for a quick easy dish. Maverick even ate it when he came home from a long night of dish washing and said it was good.
Maggie has learned my habit of looking at recipes and making them work with A) What we like to eat ; B)What we have on hand and C)What is the cheaper version of the expensive ingredients listed (like who has fresh tarragon hanging around the fridge waiting to be used???)
I love collecting different and unusual cook books and reading through them. My favorites are the church cookbooks. Today I was reading "Tried and True;" a collection of recipes from the Heritage Village, Gerry New York, circa 1983. It contains lots of favorite wisdom's as well as recipes, like the following:
Dear Father, Help me to:
Forgive the wrongs in others,
Forgive the faults I see;
That I may be forgiven,
The faults that are in me;
--From Allie Musgrove's Scrapbook 1898-1983
The woman of Heritage Village collected over 100 pages of great recipes, everything from Sister Parktan's Brown Bread to Watermelon Rind pickles. You can just taste the love and laughter in the recipes and the occasions they made them for. Bucket of Muffins for 25? Church bazaar of course. Creme de Mynthe Cake? St. Patricks day dinner. Potato Chip Cookies? The grand kids are coming. Scalloped mushrooms and baked chicken almond casserole? Company on the way, bake the Dr. Bird Cake for dessert.
Nowadays we tend to drop by the Wegmans superstore and pick up chicken teriaki to bake and salad for the side. We skip the heavy desserts and munch on chocolate fudge Hershey kisses and cherry M&M's (or Lays Potato chips if you are the Queen). Gone are the 6 course meals with delicious desserts. One friend's Mom, Ruth, always had 2 or 3 desserts on hand. I remember when her son Sean came home from boot camp, she had Boston Cream Pie, Brownies, and chocolate chip cookies on hand. I still make her Grasshopper pie and remember all the trouble she went to make enough for her oldest son's wedding shower. Dinner at Ruth and Bernie's was always a treat. I pull in that love and cook on Sunday's, thinking of the way her house always smelled of the love and looked like sunshine, even on the darkest days.
I look to pass the love of food and cooking to my kids, and teach them to make the best of whatever you have on hand. Use the laughter, pull in the smiles, fold in the friendships by talking on the cell while cooking, add in the family by using the old recipes and making them new again, and best of all, to share them with friends and family. Whatever we are eating gets shared with the friends they have in the house....Maggie's BFF always seems to show on Sunday's, what's up with that? Beans and franks Monday's just don't cut it I guess. And Soccer Boy manages to show up for Taco night. It's time I showed him how to cook it I think.
Good food, good friends...now if I could just teach them to clean up when they cook. Hmm, my Mom used to say that to me. Still does.
Some things never change. Ok Mom, I'll clean it up in a minute, honest.
Summer and the living is easy. Cooking switches between the fun and the inventive and the quick and lazy. Now that the kids are older, I can often say "why don't you cook tonight." Luke will whip together something tried and true like eggs and turkey bacon; Maggie gets out the cook book and starts reading. The other night she pulled out Campbell's Summer Recipes, all using Campbell's soup. She made a nice chicken and rice dish which had tomatoes--oh, skip the tomatoes, Maggie hates them; peppers--use the fresh from the garden, nope Mom, I don't want to--golden corn Campbell's soup--oops, don't have that, use cream of chicken...still, it was the classic chicken and rice which is a favorite standby for a quick easy dish. Maverick even ate it when he came home from a long night of dish washing and said it was good.
Maggie has learned my habit of looking at recipes and making them work with A) What we like to eat ; B)What we have on hand and C)What is the cheaper version of the expensive ingredients listed (like who has fresh tarragon hanging around the fridge waiting to be used???)
I love collecting different and unusual cook books and reading through them. My favorites are the church cookbooks. Today I was reading "Tried and True;" a collection of recipes from the Heritage Village, Gerry New York, circa 1983. It contains lots of favorite wisdom's as well as recipes, like the following:
Dear Father, Help me to:
Forgive the wrongs in others,
Forgive the faults I see;
That I may be forgiven,
The faults that are in me;
--From Allie Musgrove's Scrapbook 1898-1983
The woman of Heritage Village collected over 100 pages of great recipes, everything from Sister Parktan's Brown Bread to Watermelon Rind pickles. You can just taste the love and laughter in the recipes and the occasions they made them for. Bucket of Muffins for 25? Church bazaar of course. Creme de Mynthe Cake? St. Patricks day dinner. Potato Chip Cookies? The grand kids are coming. Scalloped mushrooms and baked chicken almond casserole? Company on the way, bake the Dr. Bird Cake for dessert.
Nowadays we tend to drop by the Wegmans superstore and pick up chicken teriaki to bake and salad for the side. We skip the heavy desserts and munch on chocolate fudge Hershey kisses and cherry M&M's (or Lays Potato chips if you are the Queen). Gone are the 6 course meals with delicious desserts. One friend's Mom, Ruth, always had 2 or 3 desserts on hand. I remember when her son Sean came home from boot camp, she had Boston Cream Pie, Brownies, and chocolate chip cookies on hand. I still make her Grasshopper pie and remember all the trouble she went to make enough for her oldest son's wedding shower. Dinner at Ruth and Bernie's was always a treat. I pull in that love and cook on Sunday's, thinking of the way her house always smelled of the love and looked like sunshine, even on the darkest days.
I look to pass the love of food and cooking to my kids, and teach them to make the best of whatever you have on hand. Use the laughter, pull in the smiles, fold in the friendships by talking on the cell while cooking, add in the family by using the old recipes and making them new again, and best of all, to share them with friends and family. Whatever we are eating gets shared with the friends they have in the house....Maggie's BFF always seems to show on Sunday's, what's up with that? Beans and franks Monday's just don't cut it I guess. And Soccer Boy manages to show up for Taco night. It's time I showed him how to cook it I think.
Good food, good friends...now if I could just teach them to clean up when they cook. Hmm, my Mom used to say that to me. Still does.
Some things never change. Ok Mom, I'll clean it up in a minute, honest.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
10 Steps to Control Stress
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
“Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health, and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.”—Joseph Addison
Cheery, happy, joyful, blissful, peaceful, calm, full of mirth, tipping over with gladness, bursting with glee-a state of positive thinking we try to attain on a regular basis. We pray, we give thanks, and we meditate. We feel good. We feel God. We live in the state of grace, wonderment, and blessing....then we wake up smiling.
And sometimes we don’t smile. We wake up, having not slept all night due to stress, playing the problems over and over in our heads. Accidents happen, bones get broken, illness hits us or a loved one, jobs get lost, our parent’s age and our children misbehave. Sometimes our kids are clueless and we wonder where they got their brain cells, like the other day when Maverick hopped in a friend’s go-cart and drove it 5 miles down the side of a 6 lane highway in rush-hour traffic to pick up a friend. What on earth was he thinking? Of course, no brain functions were involved, only hormones were driving the bus that day.
And sometimes the hormones are so stupid school boards and the police have to get involved. Sometimes the disease takes more that a prescription to heal. Sometimes the job takes many months and countless applications to find. Sometimes the wound leaves a permanent scar we can’t heal, we can’t prevent and we can’t undo. And when it’s our kids, we feel the stress constantly. When we aren’t in control, and can’t just wave a wand to get a new job or do the day over, we suffer too.
I have developed some excellent coping techniques during my extended play time at home. I passed these on to a friend in need today, and I wanted to share with you too. Please send me yours and I will update.
10 Steps to Cope with Stress
1. TRASH TALK Just call a friend and vent, yell, holler, moan, diss the other people, scream about the unfairness, roar that you can’t cope, blast the government, trash your employer, and let it all roll out of you. Just let it all hang out. Don’t expect resolution, but you will find that talking through it will help you cope. Sometime, in tough situations, this is every day.
2. HELP, I’M MELTING Schedule a time each day to allow a melt down. That’s right, let it happen. Plan on it. When you are hyperventilating, pick a time later in the day, and tell yourself, this sucks, but I am not melting down until 2 p.m. when I take my walk.Only the will I scream and cry to myself, it will be just me, and that will be okay. I will flail on the floor if I want. I will simultaneously eat 5 pounds of chocolate and 3 glasses of wine at that time if I need to. However I want to melt, I will, but it will not be until then and it will only last 30 minutes. Plan a start and end time, and let it be.
3. SNAP OUT OF IT When turmoil strikes, one problem we have is seeing our way out of the situation. We get in a cycle of repeating bad thoughts in our head, and can’t get out of it. We tell ourselves again and again, “If Only…” Stop this. Wear a rubber band, and snap it on yourself when you realize you are doing this. Pull yourself back to the moment and break the habit of the endless moaning in your head.
4. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY Remind yourself to live in the moment and not view this as life ending. Whatever it is, you will get through it. Post a note on your computer at work, hang a sign on the fridge, clip one on your vent in the car that reads “This will NOT effect my eternity.” You are a child of God and your soul is much larger then whatever problem you are facing. In a year, you won’t even remember what caused you so much pain today. Believe it.
5. BE A LOVER, NOT A FIGHTER Loving yourself, your life and your day is the key to success and peace today. Fighting against the stress does not make it go away. Concentrate instead on thoughts of love. Make lists in your head, share then with friends to give you something else to concentrate on. Funny movies I love, best books I love, seasons I love, meals I love, people I love, best days I loved, etc. Keep the focus positive. Don't fight the stress, love it and let it go.
6. WALK OFF THE WAIT Get the feet moving. A sense of accomplishment in trekking for 30 minutes, in completing a course, in walking fast for 10 house; this walking will really pull you out of a funk. Watch your toes move, see the heel hit, notice your calf bulge as you dig in. Don’t allow yourself to think of anything but the walk. This is a powerful way to pull you back from a habit of worry.
7. COUNT YOUR SHEEP Sleeping gets very difficult when we are stressed. Talking to yourself
about it during the day really gets you in the mindset of being a good sleeper. Pretend this is the Olympics of sleeping tonight and you will be awarded the gold medal. See yourself handing God your worries in a worry basket, and crawling under the covers, and sleeping quietly for 8 hours. Feel the REM sleep take over easily and give you peace. See yourself smiling while you sleep.
Talk to yourself about it, see the worries being pushed aside, and make it happen. This really helps the sleep come quickly.
8. QUIET ON THE SET Set a time aside for quiet. You need it. It will give you much rest.
9.TAKE THE DOWN ESCALATOR Often when we are stressed, our moods with other friends, co-workers or family members get intense. We escalate the discussions into major fights (If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times to pick up your underwear after you shower!!) and before you know, the entire U.S. Army is needed to break up the discussion already. Stop saying “Always and Never” and take it down a notch. Walk away. Let it go. Let them win, and give yourself peace. Winning every fight does not make your stronger.
10. THRIVE NOT SURVIVE See yourself with a positive outcome, whatever it may be. Start with a gratitude journal, and move it up to major dreams. Allow yourself to bloom wherever you are planted, even now…see this manure as the fertilizer of your new life.
Give thanks each nite by remembering, “I am blessed, not stressed.”
Laugh each day. This is the best coping mechanism of all. It's makes us cheerful the whole day.
“Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health, and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.”—Joseph Addison
Cheery, happy, joyful, blissful, peaceful, calm, full of mirth, tipping over with gladness, bursting with glee-a state of positive thinking we try to attain on a regular basis. We pray, we give thanks, and we meditate. We feel good. We feel God. We live in the state of grace, wonderment, and blessing....then we wake up smiling.
And sometimes we don’t smile. We wake up, having not slept all night due to stress, playing the problems over and over in our heads. Accidents happen, bones get broken, illness hits us or a loved one, jobs get lost, our parent’s age and our children misbehave. Sometimes our kids are clueless and we wonder where they got their brain cells, like the other day when Maverick hopped in a friend’s go-cart and drove it 5 miles down the side of a 6 lane highway in rush-hour traffic to pick up a friend. What on earth was he thinking? Of course, no brain functions were involved, only hormones were driving the bus that day.
And sometimes the hormones are so stupid school boards and the police have to get involved. Sometimes the disease takes more that a prescription to heal. Sometimes the job takes many months and countless applications to find. Sometimes the wound leaves a permanent scar we can’t heal, we can’t prevent and we can’t undo. And when it’s our kids, we feel the stress constantly. When we aren’t in control, and can’t just wave a wand to get a new job or do the day over, we suffer too.
I have developed some excellent coping techniques during my extended play time at home. I passed these on to a friend in need today, and I wanted to share with you too. Please send me yours and I will update.
10 Steps to Cope with Stress
1. TRASH TALK Just call a friend and vent, yell, holler, moan, diss the other people, scream about the unfairness, roar that you can’t cope, blast the government, trash your employer, and let it all roll out of you. Just let it all hang out. Don’t expect resolution, but you will find that talking through it will help you cope. Sometime, in tough situations, this is every day.
2. HELP, I’M MELTING Schedule a time each day to allow a melt down. That’s right, let it happen. Plan on it. When you are hyperventilating, pick a time later in the day, and tell yourself, this sucks, but I am not melting down until 2 p.m. when I take my walk.Only the will I scream and cry to myself, it will be just me, and that will be okay. I will flail on the floor if I want. I will simultaneously eat 5 pounds of chocolate and 3 glasses of wine at that time if I need to. However I want to melt, I will, but it will not be until then and it will only last 30 minutes. Plan a start and end time, and let it be.
3. SNAP OUT OF IT When turmoil strikes, one problem we have is seeing our way out of the situation. We get in a cycle of repeating bad thoughts in our head, and can’t get out of it. We tell ourselves again and again, “If Only…” Stop this. Wear a rubber band, and snap it on yourself when you realize you are doing this. Pull yourself back to the moment and break the habit of the endless moaning in your head.
4. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY Remind yourself to live in the moment and not view this as life ending. Whatever it is, you will get through it. Post a note on your computer at work, hang a sign on the fridge, clip one on your vent in the car that reads “This will NOT effect my eternity.” You are a child of God and your soul is much larger then whatever problem you are facing. In a year, you won’t even remember what caused you so much pain today. Believe it.
5. BE A LOVER, NOT A FIGHTER Loving yourself, your life and your day is the key to success and peace today. Fighting against the stress does not make it go away. Concentrate instead on thoughts of love. Make lists in your head, share then with friends to give you something else to concentrate on. Funny movies I love, best books I love, seasons I love, meals I love, people I love, best days I loved, etc. Keep the focus positive. Don't fight the stress, love it and let it go.
6. WALK OFF THE WAIT Get the feet moving. A sense of accomplishment in trekking for 30 minutes, in completing a course, in walking fast for 10 house; this walking will really pull you out of a funk. Watch your toes move, see the heel hit, notice your calf bulge as you dig in. Don’t allow yourself to think of anything but the walk. This is a powerful way to pull you back from a habit of worry.
7. COUNT YOUR SHEEP Sleeping gets very difficult when we are stressed. Talking to yourself
about it during the day really gets you in the mindset of being a good sleeper. Pretend this is the Olympics of sleeping tonight and you will be awarded the gold medal. See yourself handing God your worries in a worry basket, and crawling under the covers, and sleeping quietly for 8 hours. Feel the REM sleep take over easily and give you peace. See yourself smiling while you sleep.
Talk to yourself about it, see the worries being pushed aside, and make it happen. This really helps the sleep come quickly.
8. QUIET ON THE SET Set a time aside for quiet. You need it. It will give you much rest.
9.TAKE THE DOWN ESCALATOR Often when we are stressed, our moods with other friends, co-workers or family members get intense. We escalate the discussions into major fights (If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times to pick up your underwear after you shower!!) and before you know, the entire U.S. Army is needed to break up the discussion already. Stop saying “Always and Never” and take it down a notch. Walk away. Let it go. Let them win, and give yourself peace. Winning every fight does not make your stronger.
10. THRIVE NOT SURVIVE See yourself with a positive outcome, whatever it may be. Start with a gratitude journal, and move it up to major dreams. Allow yourself to bloom wherever you are planted, even now…see this manure as the fertilizer of your new life.
Give thanks each nite by remembering, “I am blessed, not stressed.”
Laugh each day. This is the best coping mechanism of all. It's makes us cheerful the whole day.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Evil Bunny
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
I saved the bay window again. It's only the 1000Th time I've had to save it since moving in. A few times I missed. I still have one broken pane from last fall when a tiny little dachshund walked by and Molly went crazy, jumping and barking like the little princess was getting her last bit of food. One foxhound mutt meets a 5 pane bay window, and sometimes we lose.
Tonight, it was the evil bunny. Molly has a piece of yard that is hers. Sometimes the bunnies come right there and poop, just to torment her. Then when she next comes out, she goes nutso. You'd think someone was robbing us. Sometimes they frolic just outside the limit of her tether. They love to see her go berserk, and they gently chew away, grazing on our too long grass. Tonight, the bunny was bold. She moved just a few feet from the window where Molly sits in my great-granddad's horsehair chair. She was gulping on the dandelions that Maverick still had not mowed down. I came over and calmed Molly down, looking to see who was walking by and driving her crazy. No little doxie, just a bunny.
I never watched a bunny eat anything but grass. I have a yard full of lovely white flyaway dandelions. She would calmly sniff a few dandelions, taste the tops of some, and when she finally found one she liked, she would bit it from the bottom and suck it in like a child eats spaghetti, stopping at the flower top. There she would sit, with the flower sticking out of her mouth, chewing away, then suddenly, Plop! the top would get sucked in also.
It was funny to sit and hold Molly still and calmly watch the bunny eat. It made me think of all that window has been through. It's a lovely oak window from the 1960's. When we moved in, it was solid white, and the seat of the window had brown linoleum tiles glued on it. I have fond memories of weeks spent stripping it down during Maverick's nap time, while listening to the OJ trial. And I even remember watching our lady mail carrier walk-by while they announced the verdict, and running out to tell her.
We just finished the window and remodeled the living room when Maverick threw the remote at it and broke a pane. I immediately signed him up for baseball even though he was only 18 moths old!
Next abuse of the window was when the twins were wee babies. 2 a.m. feeding time. I went upstairs and picked them both up from their cribs, came down,got the bottles from the stove and went to the living room to sit in the lazy boy by the bay window to rock them. I would sit with one on each leg, on a pillow, heads propped up with a bottle in each mouth. So I was grabbing pillows, holding babies and bottles. and bending to sit in the chair, all while half asleep. I didn't aim right, and hit the back of the chair while pushing back, not down. Next thing I know, I hit the chair, it flips completely over with me and babies and bottles, snapping up and getting stuck on the window ledge. I'm afraid to try and get out, so I spent 10 minutes trying to wake sleeping DH by screaming my head off. He comes running finally, hitting lights as he goes to see where I am--and 2 lights in a row blow out as he flips the switch. Man, what a night!
Maggie and Luke took out a window while practicing baseball. I was just heading to the door to tell them to turn the other way in the yard, when Luke threw a hard ball and Maggie ducked, letting the ball sail right into the living room. We barely got the window fixed, when the October surprise hit, knocking out 2 more windows. We fixed those and Molly took out another one. Fixed that, and then she cracked another one. I was just saying it's time to fix that one, and here comes the bunny.
And as I sit quietly telling you about the window's adventures, when the little neighbor children come over to get the twins to play. Molly goes nuts, I get up from writing this to grab her again, and you guessed it. She pounced right through as if it was empty and leaped right on the little kindergarten girl.
Maybe I need stock in a glass company.
I saved the bay window again. It's only the 1000Th time I've had to save it since moving in. A few times I missed. I still have one broken pane from last fall when a tiny little dachshund walked by and Molly went crazy, jumping and barking like the little princess was getting her last bit of food. One foxhound mutt meets a 5 pane bay window, and sometimes we lose.
Tonight, it was the evil bunny. Molly has a piece of yard that is hers. Sometimes the bunnies come right there and poop, just to torment her. Then when she next comes out, she goes nutso. You'd think someone was robbing us. Sometimes they frolic just outside the limit of her tether. They love to see her go berserk, and they gently chew away, grazing on our too long grass. Tonight, the bunny was bold. She moved just a few feet from the window where Molly sits in my great-granddad's horsehair chair. She was gulping on the dandelions that Maverick still had not mowed down. I came over and calmed Molly down, looking to see who was walking by and driving her crazy. No little doxie, just a bunny.
I never watched a bunny eat anything but grass. I have a yard full of lovely white flyaway dandelions. She would calmly sniff a few dandelions, taste the tops of some, and when she finally found one she liked, she would bit it from the bottom and suck it in like a child eats spaghetti, stopping at the flower top. There she would sit, with the flower sticking out of her mouth, chewing away, then suddenly, Plop! the top would get sucked in also.
It was funny to sit and hold Molly still and calmly watch the bunny eat. It made me think of all that window has been through. It's a lovely oak window from the 1960's. When we moved in, it was solid white, and the seat of the window had brown linoleum tiles glued on it. I have fond memories of weeks spent stripping it down during Maverick's nap time, while listening to the OJ trial. And I even remember watching our lady mail carrier walk-by while they announced the verdict, and running out to tell her.
We just finished the window and remodeled the living room when Maverick threw the remote at it and broke a pane. I immediately signed him up for baseball even though he was only 18 moths old!
Next abuse of the window was when the twins were wee babies. 2 a.m. feeding time. I went upstairs and picked them both up from their cribs, came down,got the bottles from the stove and went to the living room to sit in the lazy boy by the bay window to rock them. I would sit with one on each leg, on a pillow, heads propped up with a bottle in each mouth. So I was grabbing pillows, holding babies and bottles. and bending to sit in the chair, all while half asleep. I didn't aim right, and hit the back of the chair while pushing back, not down. Next thing I know, I hit the chair, it flips completely over with me and babies and bottles, snapping up and getting stuck on the window ledge. I'm afraid to try and get out, so I spent 10 minutes trying to wake sleeping DH by screaming my head off. He comes running finally, hitting lights as he goes to see where I am--and 2 lights in a row blow out as he flips the switch. Man, what a night!
Maggie and Luke took out a window while practicing baseball. I was just heading to the door to tell them to turn the other way in the yard, when Luke threw a hard ball and Maggie ducked, letting the ball sail right into the living room. We barely got the window fixed, when the October surprise hit, knocking out 2 more windows. We fixed those and Molly took out another one. Fixed that, and then she cracked another one. I was just saying it's time to fix that one, and here comes the bunny.
And as I sit quietly telling you about the window's adventures, when the little neighbor children come over to get the twins to play. Molly goes nuts, I get up from writing this to grab her again, and you guessed it. She pounced right through as if it was empty and leaped right on the little kindergarten girl.
Maybe I need stock in a glass company.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Job Fair
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry.He should sweep streets so well that the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well."- Martin Luther King -
Heading to a job fair today. Lots of opportunities to hear about jobs that are available. Uplifting to think of all the possibilities at every company represented there. Challenging to make yourself heard in a chorus of thousands of lost souls looking for their next great job, the next team they want to run passes for, the next symphony for their music to play in.
Mass market hiring can be fun and interesting. When Maggie and Luke heard I was going to a job fair, their faces lit up. Will there be rides? Sure, a Ferris wheel soars you to new heights as you search for the next job. And a roller coaster bounces you up and down, twisting your stomach and shaking up your brain cells as you wait in line to speak to recruiters. And the tilt-a-whirl throws you around and beats you senseless when you whine "no one will hire me." And there is a dunk tank you throws balls at, yelling, "I am NOT unqualified! My skills do meet your needs! I am a good fit!" And they sell grown up job searching candy called "Tums", "Ibuprofen" and "Wine."
No, really Mom, are there rides at the job fairs? Or maybe do they sell crafts and toys too? Or how about cotton candy? No, just selling hope, faith and inspiration. A new job, a new beginning. It's like opening day for baseball. You just never know if this might be your year.
What team uniform will I be wearing? I'm open to all possibilities. Well, maybe not the brown and orange polyester uniform I wore in high school and college while working at Bells supermarkets. That one, I think should be retired. 5 years as a cashier is enough for anyone. We used to spend our nights joking about letting the customers check themselves out....
If we only knew.
Inspiration comes to us all the time. We just need to stop and listen. And believe in ourselves, and our passions, and go with the team that fills that bliss.
Maybe I'll find mine today.
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry.He should sweep streets so well that the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well."- Martin Luther King -
Heading to a job fair today. Lots of opportunities to hear about jobs that are available. Uplifting to think of all the possibilities at every company represented there. Challenging to make yourself heard in a chorus of thousands of lost souls looking for their next great job, the next team they want to run passes for, the next symphony for their music to play in.
Mass market hiring can be fun and interesting. When Maggie and Luke heard I was going to a job fair, their faces lit up. Will there be rides? Sure, a Ferris wheel soars you to new heights as you search for the next job. And a roller coaster bounces you up and down, twisting your stomach and shaking up your brain cells as you wait in line to speak to recruiters. And the tilt-a-whirl throws you around and beats you senseless when you whine "no one will hire me." And there is a dunk tank you throws balls at, yelling, "I am NOT unqualified! My skills do meet your needs! I am a good fit!" And they sell grown up job searching candy called "Tums", "Ibuprofen" and "Wine."
No, really Mom, are there rides at the job fairs? Or maybe do they sell crafts and toys too? Or how about cotton candy? No, just selling hope, faith and inspiration. A new job, a new beginning. It's like opening day for baseball. You just never know if this might be your year.
What team uniform will I be wearing? I'm open to all possibilities. Well, maybe not the brown and orange polyester uniform I wore in high school and college while working at Bells supermarkets. That one, I think should be retired. 5 years as a cashier is enough for anyone. We used to spend our nights joking about letting the customers check themselves out....
If we only knew.
Inspiration comes to us all the time. We just need to stop and listen. And believe in ourselves, and our passions, and go with the team that fills that bliss.
Maybe I'll find mine today.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Mom's Day Extended
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
"Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world." -- Kate Douglas Wiggin
Another beautiful Mother's day come and gone....why is that day the fastest 24 hours in your life? Right up there in terms of speed with your wedding day. You barely get into the day and it's over. All the love, joy, and peace slip right through our hands. I think all the best day's in life are like that; Fluid and fast, joyful and just; happy and hurried. Days we wish we could bottle up and open when we need them.
My mother's day started with Maggie standing next to me, breathing, waiting for me to open my eyes. She insisted last week I take her to buy a GIANT piece of poster board. And new markers. Old ones just wouldn't do. She kept bugging me. Called my on my cell phone twice on the night we were going (using up the minutes, what is she thinking?) I was out with old co-workers boozing it up (okay, it only takes one wine for me to get silly, thank the Queen for buying and getting me there.)
Maggie finally gets me to croak What? through my sleep crusted eyelids and teeth coated with cotton balls. Open your eyes Mom. And I do, and she is holding this giant card she made from the poster board. Inside it says "Best Mom Award" and she drew a trophy. She also sewed me a pillow in pink satin, which says "Mom of the Year, 2008." And she made me a pink bracelet from rubber bands, all the rage in the 6Th grade.
So sweet. The other two did not grace us with their presence until 11. So much for declarations of love and breakfast in bed from those two sleepy heads. DH ran twice to the store to get me my treats and paper, and bought me bike shorts. YES! Bike shorts. I had no idea you could feed a third world country for the price of bike shorts and a heart monitor. Amazing, the cost. But oh, the comfort! My bottom screams every time I go to spinning class, but I am getting addicted. Why else would I torture myself at 5 in the morning? It couldn't be all the pumped guys that work out at that time, could it? Couldn't be riding behind them for 60 minutes and watching their gluts go up and down?
No, I am sure that's not it. After all, I am a Mom.
Oops, gotta go. Time to go to gym and spin. I mean, darn, I have to work out again. What torture. Oh the drudgery. Oh, why would I do this to myself?
It's the tough part of being a Mom. Working out at 5, so you can be home to get the kids up at 6. Oh, how we suffer!
"Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world." -- Kate Douglas Wiggin
Another beautiful Mother's day come and gone....why is that day the fastest 24 hours in your life? Right up there in terms of speed with your wedding day. You barely get into the day and it's over. All the love, joy, and peace slip right through our hands. I think all the best day's in life are like that; Fluid and fast, joyful and just; happy and hurried. Days we wish we could bottle up and open when we need them.
My mother's day started with Maggie standing next to me, breathing, waiting for me to open my eyes. She insisted last week I take her to buy a GIANT piece of poster board. And new markers. Old ones just wouldn't do. She kept bugging me. Called my on my cell phone twice on the night we were going (using up the minutes, what is she thinking?) I was out with old co-workers boozing it up (okay, it only takes one wine for me to get silly, thank the Queen for buying and getting me there.)
Maggie finally gets me to croak What? through my sleep crusted eyelids and teeth coated with cotton balls. Open your eyes Mom. And I do, and she is holding this giant card she made from the poster board. Inside it says "Best Mom Award" and she drew a trophy. She also sewed me a pillow in pink satin, which says "Mom of the Year, 2008." And she made me a pink bracelet from rubber bands, all the rage in the 6Th grade.
So sweet. The other two did not grace us with their presence until 11. So much for declarations of love and breakfast in bed from those two sleepy heads. DH ran twice to the store to get me my treats and paper, and bought me bike shorts. YES! Bike shorts. I had no idea you could feed a third world country for the price of bike shorts and a heart monitor. Amazing, the cost. But oh, the comfort! My bottom screams every time I go to spinning class, but I am getting addicted. Why else would I torture myself at 5 in the morning? It couldn't be all the pumped guys that work out at that time, could it? Couldn't be riding behind them for 60 minutes and watching their gluts go up and down?
No, I am sure that's not it. After all, I am a Mom.
Oops, gotta go. Time to go to gym and spin. I mean, darn, I have to work out again. What torture. Oh the drudgery. Oh, why would I do this to myself?
It's the tough part of being a Mom. Working out at 5, so you can be home to get the kids up at 6. Oh, how we suffer!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Hope
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all"--Emily Dickinson
A beautiful spring day in Buffalo. Sunny, 81 at 11 A.M. It doesn't get any better then this. Woke up and went to the nearby Home Depot to buy mulch. Can you believe they weren't open yet at 7:45? Come on people, the early bird gets the worm. Open those doors! Buy the mulch and weed killer. And begin. Clean and dig out the weeds and grass. Cut off the dead stuff. Clean out the dead leaves. By noon, I had the front garden cleared out and looking good. Ready for the season. Green buds on the bushes. Hostas popping up. And Aunt Betty's myrtle spreading like wildfire, just mocking me in the sunlight.
I could never get myrtle to grow on my own. We had a huge area around our front maple when we moved in. So pretty. The lovely purple flowers in the spring really warm the heart. But I somehow couldn't keep it going. Bought tons more, and it all died. Everyone said, next time you are at "The Cabin" bring some back. The hunting cabin, 2 hours away near Corning, NY, way up in the hills. There is a large one acre patch of the myrtle there now. Aunt Betty planted it around a family cabin 40 years ago. The cabin and Aunt Betty are long gone, but the myrtle lives on, with no one helping it.
Last year, we brought some baby lilacs back from this cabin area. Planted them, but they didn't survive. The bleeding heart we also took seems to be coming in wonderfully. And in the dirt where we had tried the lilacs, Aunt Betty's myrtle popped up. We didn't even grab any to plant with the lilacs, not a leaf at all. I didn't want the misery of trying to nurture it again. But still it grew. Now we have a 2 x 3 foot patch. It will probably cover the entire garden before I know it. It seems to be telling me not to give up.
The seeds of Aunt Betty's myrtle live on without any encouragement. They just know how to live anywhere. They know exactly what to do, and even when I have given up hope, they have not. The joy of life is still in them.
Many time in the past weeks I have felt like I had no hope. All I can do is get out a little prayer to keep my faith going. And the amazing thing, is I usually always get it in lots of surprising ways. Miss Kodak sends me job tips and invites me to come out to a party. Syd's Mom invites me to tea and plays, and listens to me while I wail and blubber like a two year old. The Queen calls unexpectedly at lunch to see if she can get me to go leave the warm confines of the comforter I am wearing like a robe and go out for happy hour. Miss Virgina calls me and makes me crazy by having 3 job offers while she is still gainfully employed. Mr. Comedy gets me to play checkers, whooping my butt and making me laugh. My dogs throws her ball around the house, saying to me, "Hey if you won't play ball with me, I will just have to play catch with myself." My DH brings me pizza just because I am blue. Maggie's softball coach--gainfully employee and working like a dog in the family business his whole life--tells me to apply for the job I worry is too much work, "just to practice on the interview. My Dad gets people to send me job postings by snail mail. Old school is good too Dad. My brother emails me and meets with another friend who was also laid off from my company. My gym friends tell me I am funny and get me to try spinning class. (I think this was because the pain in my privates would distract me from any other thought for a week. I am still sitting on a pillow.) Old friends email jokes to make me laugh. Maverick doesn't get detention for a whole week! A whole week! And my twins run in from school, all excited and happy that they can wear shorts in April in Buffalo, and ask me, "How was work?"--just as they have every day their whole lives.
Hope is everywhere, even when we don't plant the stalk ourselves, God plants it for us. And keeps planting it again and again, just to make sure we are hearing him.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Road Trip
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Day 38 of Free Agency
"What kind of Mom doesn't know what type of chocolate their daughter likes?"--Maggie, incredulous that I bought orange chocolate instead of dark
Kids off school this week. Opened food containers and wrappers cover the terrain. The towel farm has increased ten fold in their rooms. Shoes multiplied and mixed with all seasons of coats. Started the week at 22 degrees to go to church, ended today at 89. Such is spring break in Buffalo.
On a nice clear Tuesday, we went to Cleveland. Why, you ask? Because we could. No job. No school. No schedule. Road trip is necessary. Time to load up Vicky with all kinds of junk food (but the wrong chocolate evidently) and hit the road. Mom, Maverick, Godson, Maggie, Maggie best friend, Luke and lots of Cd's. Blast the stereo. Eat girl scout cookies for breakfast, egg mcmuffin for lunch, milkshakes for dinner. Dip french fries in chocolate shakes, swiggle Monster for early morning drive. Yell as we cross each state, and insist on peeing immediately in new state. Wave to truckers. Slow down and smile at troopers, who are wondering how we are surviving having 5 kids and one adult stuck in one car. Easy, I say, it's called, portable DVDs and Ipod. Gotta love technology.
3 hours and 20 minutes later we arrive at the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Might have speeded slightly, just to keep pace with the other cars of course. I wouldn't want to be a bad influence on the kids or anything. The Rock is all glass, geometrical, awesome building. Fabulous exhibits. If you haven't gone, do it. Take the 90 into Cleveland and follow the signs. Very fun. There's lots of other stuff to do in Cleveland, like take in the Indians and whoever is it town. Go to the science museum next door. Check out downtown. Really neat.
None of us are huge fans of any one group, so I wondered how the experience would be for us. It's not like we were making a pilgrimage to all things Jimi Hendrix. If you were, it would be a cool place. Lots of his guitars. Tons of handwritten notes where he wrote the songs. I never knew he had such fabulous lyrics or that he did much of anything besides play the guitar fast. ZZ tops car is there. Micheal Jackson's sparkling glove. Madonna's cone bra. Lots of stuff on Jim Morrison. I did not know he was arrested for allegedly exposing his penis in Miami. Fascinating.
For Buffalo fans, they show where the term "Rock and Roll" came from ( Alan Freed, Cleveland DJ is credited) but they also show lots of other DJ's that had a strong influence on developing the genre. You can plug in a city, and then its list the local guys...and then you can hear the shows. And who was there for Buffalo. None other then Danny Neverath. ..can you say, "Danny moves your fanny." They really showed lots of musical types, the top group and the top songs. As you pulled up the songs in the little cubby, then you can see what other songs influenced the songwriting. Neat way to educate yourself on music.
We leave the Rock and walk around downtown while the boys skateboard. Who knew they would have a skate park right behind the Hall of fame? We of course have skateboards because life does not exist without them. We load up on cheap souvenirs-- after all we have to commemorate the 5 hour visit with an 8x10 rock band photo, key chain, coffee cup, magnets, official guitar souvenir of the Hall of Fame, complete with certificate of authenticity, and one Jack Black movie for the ride home. We pee one last time in Ohio and journey back. Stop for milkshakes and fries in Erie--and yes, it's still under construction, and hit NY in time for the news.
And not one fight the whole day. Mom got the name "Bad ass" from Godson for making an illegal left out of McDonald's (don't they know people exit the 90 and need to go back on the 90? Do they think we want to turn and to Ashtabula? I don't think so Tim.) And at the end of the day, Maggie said to BUFF, "Best Road Trip ever---NOT!!!"
For a minute there, I thought I was actually a cool Mom.
http://www.rockhall.com/
Day 38 of Free Agency
"What kind of Mom doesn't know what type of chocolate their daughter likes?"--Maggie, incredulous that I bought orange chocolate instead of dark
Kids off school this week. Opened food containers and wrappers cover the terrain. The towel farm has increased ten fold in their rooms. Shoes multiplied and mixed with all seasons of coats. Started the week at 22 degrees to go to church, ended today at 89. Such is spring break in Buffalo.
On a nice clear Tuesday, we went to Cleveland. Why, you ask? Because we could. No job. No school. No schedule. Road trip is necessary. Time to load up Vicky with all kinds of junk food (but the wrong chocolate evidently) and hit the road. Mom, Maverick, Godson, Maggie, Maggie best friend, Luke and lots of Cd's. Blast the stereo. Eat girl scout cookies for breakfast, egg mcmuffin for lunch, milkshakes for dinner. Dip french fries in chocolate shakes, swiggle Monster for early morning drive. Yell as we cross each state, and insist on peeing immediately in new state. Wave to truckers. Slow down and smile at troopers, who are wondering how we are surviving having 5 kids and one adult stuck in one car. Easy, I say, it's called, portable DVDs and Ipod. Gotta love technology.
3 hours and 20 minutes later we arrive at the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Might have speeded slightly, just to keep pace with the other cars of course. I wouldn't want to be a bad influence on the kids or anything. The Rock is all glass, geometrical, awesome building. Fabulous exhibits. If you haven't gone, do it. Take the 90 into Cleveland and follow the signs. Very fun. There's lots of other stuff to do in Cleveland, like take in the Indians and whoever is it town. Go to the science museum next door. Check out downtown. Really neat.
None of us are huge fans of any one group, so I wondered how the experience would be for us. It's not like we were making a pilgrimage to all things Jimi Hendrix. If you were, it would be a cool place. Lots of his guitars. Tons of handwritten notes where he wrote the songs. I never knew he had such fabulous lyrics or that he did much of anything besides play the guitar fast. ZZ tops car is there. Micheal Jackson's sparkling glove. Madonna's cone bra. Lots of stuff on Jim Morrison. I did not know he was arrested for allegedly exposing his penis in Miami. Fascinating.
For Buffalo fans, they show where the term "Rock and Roll" came from ( Alan Freed, Cleveland DJ is credited) but they also show lots of other DJ's that had a strong influence on developing the genre. You can plug in a city, and then its list the local guys...and then you can hear the shows. And who was there for Buffalo. None other then Danny Neverath. ..can you say, "Danny moves your fanny." They really showed lots of musical types, the top group and the top songs. As you pulled up the songs in the little cubby, then you can see what other songs influenced the songwriting. Neat way to educate yourself on music.
We leave the Rock and walk around downtown while the boys skateboard. Who knew they would have a skate park right behind the Hall of fame? We of course have skateboards because life does not exist without them. We load up on cheap souvenirs-- after all we have to commemorate the 5 hour visit with an 8x10 rock band photo, key chain, coffee cup, magnets, official guitar souvenir of the Hall of Fame, complete with certificate of authenticity, and one Jack Black movie for the ride home. We pee one last time in Ohio and journey back. Stop for milkshakes and fries in Erie--and yes, it's still under construction, and hit NY in time for the news.
And not one fight the whole day. Mom got the name "Bad ass" from Godson for making an illegal left out of McDonald's (don't they know people exit the 90 and need to go back on the 90? Do they think we want to turn and to Ashtabula? I don't think so Tim.) And at the end of the day, Maggie said to BUFF, "Best Road Trip ever---NOT!!!"
For a minute there, I thought I was actually a cool Mom.
http://www.rockhall.com/
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Mrs. Goodwrench
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Day 31 of Free Agency
I pulled myself out of nap mode long enough to try and blog again. It's amazing how time expands when you have no constraints. The same chores that you rush through in 30 minutes in between day job and night job as chauffeur, can take you 3 hours, 3 days, or in some cases, months.
Finishing up the RW Caldwell classes...so what do you want to be when you grow up? Name you three biggest strengths. Tell me your greatest weakness?
Weakness? Chocolate bars dipped in peanut butter at 1 a.m. while watching Conan? Oh, you mean in business. Well, I have no mechanical ability. Zip. Zilch. Impossible. Can't figure one thing out, pretty sure gravity doesn't even exist. Nothing seems to gel inside my brain.
You know the genome project where they are documenting all the genetic codes? I am positive they will find there is a chromosome just for mechanics. And God left mine out. My proof that it's genetic? My brothers, and my twins, both evidence of the genetic predisposition to many things in life.
My eldest brother, Mr. Computer, is a wizard at anything electronic or computer gadgetry. When he was a teenager, he took apart my parents new stereo, just to see how it worked. Then he went out and bought the parts to make his own top notch stereo system. He funded this little project with money he made at school. My brother is a money magnet. From age 6, he knew how to cash in. He used to sell his homemade lunch, his sandwich, his cookies and his chips, and use the money to buy a school lunch and have money left over to save. When he was in high school, he again analyzed the situation and figured out how to profit.
Back in the day, they had lock built into the lockers in the high school. My bro got tired of using a combination for the lock, and wanted a key instead. They school had a master key that worked all locks. My brother bought a blank key, and notched, and filed, and worked it until he made a key that fit the lock. But he did not stop there. No, all his friends wanted keys. He went to the hardware store and ordered a gross of blank keys--144 blanks. He sat in the garage and hand cut and filed all the keys. Sold them for $5 each, at a time when minimum wage was a $1. The school didn't take too kindly, and called my parents to ask him to stop. Can you imagine that today? His butt would be long gone from the school in this age, but all they did was call. Please cease and desist. Funny.
My other brother was a genius with cars. When he was 12, he tore apart his mini bike and built a go-cart. Designed a frame and welded it to fit his 5'6' frame. Made a roll cage for the go-cart and padded it. Put on regular brakes on it. Painted it. He and all his friends tore up and down the fields with that thing. Lots of fun. My brother could look at something and figure out how it worked. Not a lot of training needed, just a natural talent.
And my twins? Luke has a lot of the same talents. He started putting his chain on his bike and his sisters at age 6. We know Mom couldn't get them back on . Once we went to a team baseball party at a private home with a 5 acre man-made pond. All the toys a kid could want there, a trampoline on the water, a diving dock, trout for fishing, a beach, and paddle boats. Now my twins hadn't been on a paddle boat. As soon as we got there, Luke put on the swimming vest and pushed the boat in the water and hops in alone. You see him take a minute, paddle forward, paddle backward, turn right, turn left, figuring it out. He calmly backs up, turns and plays in the boat for 20 minutes. Brings it to shore, backing it in, pulling it on the sand for the next people. Then he hops in the canoe with some other kids, to paddle the lake.
Out comes Maggie, swim vest on, hops in the paddle boat. If her twin can do it, so can she. No fear here like Mom has of new things, but also no natural abilities. She paddles all around the lake, having fun, but ends up in the middle. Going around in circles. No clue how to stop or go another direction or how to get back. Starts screaming, "Mom, Mom, help! help!"
Of course you know I can't help. Luke is on the trampoline by now. Elder son Wild child is swimming. Wild child hops in the other paddle boat, goes to the trampoline to pick up Luke, who hops in the side. Luke doesn't even sit, just crouches ready to jump in the other paddle boat. They pull up along side Maggie, and Luke jumps in, pushing Maggie to the other seat, and steers her back to shore. All at age 8. Amazing.
Mom was on shore watching with amused eyes, trying hard not to cry as I was holding in the laughter. Poor Maggie I thought, she has my stupid mechanical genes. Well, I knew just what to do. Bake cookies. Why cookies? Because I always bake cookies to get what I want fixed. Age old solution, the way to a man's....mechanics is through his stomach.
Come on Maggie, time for that baking lesson. And that entry level mechanics class. It's the 21st century. Women need to do it all. And boys, Luke and Wild Child, come learn how to bake those cookies you love. The way to a good woman's heart is through a gourmet meal, so let's go.
Well rounded strengths. That's what we all need. As for me, well, what kind of cookies do you want?
Day 31 of Free Agency
I pulled myself out of nap mode long enough to try and blog again. It's amazing how time expands when you have no constraints. The same chores that you rush through in 30 minutes in between day job and night job as chauffeur, can take you 3 hours, 3 days, or in some cases, months.
Finishing up the RW Caldwell classes...so what do you want to be when you grow up? Name you three biggest strengths. Tell me your greatest weakness?
Weakness? Chocolate bars dipped in peanut butter at 1 a.m. while watching Conan? Oh, you mean in business. Well, I have no mechanical ability. Zip. Zilch. Impossible. Can't figure one thing out, pretty sure gravity doesn't even exist. Nothing seems to gel inside my brain.
You know the genome project where they are documenting all the genetic codes? I am positive they will find there is a chromosome just for mechanics. And God left mine out. My proof that it's genetic? My brothers, and my twins, both evidence of the genetic predisposition to many things in life.
My eldest brother, Mr. Computer, is a wizard at anything electronic or computer gadgetry. When he was a teenager, he took apart my parents new stereo, just to see how it worked. Then he went out and bought the parts to make his own top notch stereo system. He funded this little project with money he made at school. My brother is a money magnet. From age 6, he knew how to cash in. He used to sell his homemade lunch, his sandwich, his cookies and his chips, and use the money to buy a school lunch and have money left over to save. When he was in high school, he again analyzed the situation and figured out how to profit.
Back in the day, they had lock built into the lockers in the high school. My bro got tired of using a combination for the lock, and wanted a key instead. They school had a master key that worked all locks. My brother bought a blank key, and notched, and filed, and worked it until he made a key that fit the lock. But he did not stop there. No, all his friends wanted keys. He went to the hardware store and ordered a gross of blank keys--144 blanks. He sat in the garage and hand cut and filed all the keys. Sold them for $5 each, at a time when minimum wage was a $1. The school didn't take too kindly, and called my parents to ask him to stop. Can you imagine that today? His butt would be long gone from the school in this age, but all they did was call. Please cease and desist. Funny.
My other brother was a genius with cars. When he was 12, he tore apart his mini bike and built a go-cart. Designed a frame and welded it to fit his 5'6' frame. Made a roll cage for the go-cart and padded it. Put on regular brakes on it. Painted it. He and all his friends tore up and down the fields with that thing. Lots of fun. My brother could look at something and figure out how it worked. Not a lot of training needed, just a natural talent.
And my twins? Luke has a lot of the same talents. He started putting his chain on his bike and his sisters at age 6. We know Mom couldn't get them back on . Once we went to a team baseball party at a private home with a 5 acre man-made pond. All the toys a kid could want there, a trampoline on the water, a diving dock, trout for fishing, a beach, and paddle boats. Now my twins hadn't been on a paddle boat. As soon as we got there, Luke put on the swimming vest and pushed the boat in the water and hops in alone. You see him take a minute, paddle forward, paddle backward, turn right, turn left, figuring it out. He calmly backs up, turns and plays in the boat for 20 minutes. Brings it to shore, backing it in, pulling it on the sand for the next people. Then he hops in the canoe with some other kids, to paddle the lake.
Out comes Maggie, swim vest on, hops in the paddle boat. If her twin can do it, so can she. No fear here like Mom has of new things, but also no natural abilities. She paddles all around the lake, having fun, but ends up in the middle. Going around in circles. No clue how to stop or go another direction or how to get back. Starts screaming, "Mom, Mom, help! help!"
Of course you know I can't help. Luke is on the trampoline by now. Elder son Wild child is swimming. Wild child hops in the other paddle boat, goes to the trampoline to pick up Luke, who hops in the side. Luke doesn't even sit, just crouches ready to jump in the other paddle boat. They pull up along side Maggie, and Luke jumps in, pushing Maggie to the other seat, and steers her back to shore. All at age 8. Amazing.
Mom was on shore watching with amused eyes, trying hard not to cry as I was holding in the laughter. Poor Maggie I thought, she has my stupid mechanical genes. Well, I knew just what to do. Bake cookies. Why cookies? Because I always bake cookies to get what I want fixed. Age old solution, the way to a man's....mechanics is through his stomach.
Come on Maggie, time for that baking lesson. And that entry level mechanics class. It's the 21st century. Women need to do it all. And boys, Luke and Wild Child, come learn how to bake those cookies you love. The way to a good woman's heart is through a gourmet meal, so let's go.
Well rounded strengths. That's what we all need. As for me, well, what kind of cookies do you want?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A New Door
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
"When one door closes, another one opens."
Last Monday, I started the week with an overnight visit to an emergency room. Everyone is fine, but it was the staying awake all night and then working part that killed me. Called in, went in around 11 finally. Started the drill on the phones during breaks and lunch to call doctors, check coverage, make appointments. This was at the end of a very long 4 weeks, some of the hardest in my life. So bad, that I told a work friend on that Monday, that I would be declaring the month from hell over at the end of week by raising my glass in a toast of an adult beverage to ring in the new day.
I just didn't know I would be doing this at 10 a.m. Wednesday.
My day job went global, half to Manila, half to India. Outsourced. Restructured. Eliminated due to computer upgrades. Finished, told to by a manager from France who didn't even learn the American social skill of shaking someones hand goodbye and wishing them well. I wonder now as I write this, if they will call themselves "Jane" or "Kathy" or some other American name to try and fit in.
A new day. A fresh start. A do-over at mid life. One door is closed, and God will open a new one. Just look for it friends tell me. You won't be able to miss it. Well, maybe I need to be sure not to miss it.
Have you ever been to see the Space Shuttle door at John F. Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral? Wonderful, amazing park. You get to ride a bus tour and see the "garage" where the shuttle sits, waiting for the next launch. It has doors 10 stories tall, and it gets pulled out of there, and moved at a nice slow pace, 1 mile an hour, to the launch pad. No mistake there where it's going when the door opens. Huge. See, that's what I need, doors that large and a forklift on my behind leading me to it. I don't want to miss it. I want to be sure to see the clue. I want to get it right. Put me on a platform and pull me there, please.
I have a 235 page book from the outplacement service to get me going. Lots of fun, frilly exercises to help me determine where to go from here. But see, I have it all figured out already.
Reality TV. That's the ticket. Everyone loves drama and screaming. I can do that. Show the kids running around killing each other over who gets to watch what TV show or who gets the last of the Cocoa Pebbles. Piece of cake, tune in any day at 5, no writing needed. What to watch a temper tantrum? Watch me take Wild Child's skateboard away for failing 4 classes. Need gore and tears? Stay glued to your seat in while I open the mail, pay bills, and balance the checkbook. Need to see the before shot of desperate makeovers? Catch me everyday at 5 A.M. as I head to the gym.
And the theme? Never before on modern TV, a sure winner. Big hit, lot of marketing sponsorship possibilities. Millions of viewers possible. Gore all the way, just what we love.
Aging Supermodel. You see, no one knows what they might look like without all the plastic surgery. They could have stretch marks the size of Rhode Island. There boobs might really need a fork lift to hold them up. Maybe they need to buy hair dye in 5 gallon buckets to keep up with the white hairs from having 3 teenagers. Maybe they need to shave to get rid of their mustaches on their upper lips. Maybe the thighs do become one large body part.
And if reality TV doesn't fly? Well, there's always a dollar and a dream. Hey, you never know. And food during this transition time? (<--see, I'm learning the lingo already)
Well, I told the kids, every day at 5 put on their coats, and get in the car. It's the friends feed the family plan.
What are you cooking today? I'll be over.
"When one door closes, another one opens."
Last Monday, I started the week with an overnight visit to an emergency room. Everyone is fine, but it was the staying awake all night and then working part that killed me. Called in, went in around 11 finally. Started the drill on the phones during breaks and lunch to call doctors, check coverage, make appointments. This was at the end of a very long 4 weeks, some of the hardest in my life. So bad, that I told a work friend on that Monday, that I would be declaring the month from hell over at the end of week by raising my glass in a toast of an adult beverage to ring in the new day.
I just didn't know I would be doing this at 10 a.m. Wednesday.
My day job went global, half to Manila, half to India. Outsourced. Restructured. Eliminated due to computer upgrades. Finished, told to by a manager from France who didn't even learn the American social skill of shaking someones hand goodbye and wishing them well. I wonder now as I write this, if they will call themselves "Jane" or "Kathy" or some other American name to try and fit in.
A new day. A fresh start. A do-over at mid life. One door is closed, and God will open a new one. Just look for it friends tell me. You won't be able to miss it. Well, maybe I need to be sure not to miss it.
Have you ever been to see the Space Shuttle door at John F. Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral? Wonderful, amazing park. You get to ride a bus tour and see the "garage" where the shuttle sits, waiting for the next launch. It has doors 10 stories tall, and it gets pulled out of there, and moved at a nice slow pace, 1 mile an hour, to the launch pad. No mistake there where it's going when the door opens. Huge. See, that's what I need, doors that large and a forklift on my behind leading me to it. I don't want to miss it. I want to be sure to see the clue. I want to get it right. Put me on a platform and pull me there, please.
I have a 235 page book from the outplacement service to get me going. Lots of fun, frilly exercises to help me determine where to go from here. But see, I have it all figured out already.
Reality TV. That's the ticket. Everyone loves drama and screaming. I can do that. Show the kids running around killing each other over who gets to watch what TV show or who gets the last of the Cocoa Pebbles. Piece of cake, tune in any day at 5, no writing needed. What to watch a temper tantrum? Watch me take Wild Child's skateboard away for failing 4 classes. Need gore and tears? Stay glued to your seat in while I open the mail, pay bills, and balance the checkbook. Need to see the before shot of desperate makeovers? Catch me everyday at 5 A.M. as I head to the gym.
And the theme? Never before on modern TV, a sure winner. Big hit, lot of marketing sponsorship possibilities. Millions of viewers possible. Gore all the way, just what we love.
Aging Supermodel. You see, no one knows what they might look like without all the plastic surgery. They could have stretch marks the size of Rhode Island. There boobs might really need a fork lift to hold them up. Maybe they need to buy hair dye in 5 gallon buckets to keep up with the white hairs from having 3 teenagers. Maybe they need to shave to get rid of their mustaches on their upper lips. Maybe the thighs do become one large body part.
And if reality TV doesn't fly? Well, there's always a dollar and a dream. Hey, you never know. And food during this transition time? (<--see, I'm learning the lingo already)
Well, I told the kids, every day at 5 put on their coats, and get in the car. It's the friends feed the family plan.
What are you cooking today? I'll be over.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Love
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. --Margaret Atwood
Trying to achieve a balanced life often gets tipped by the scales of love. We wake up with a set of goals for the day, a list of tasks which must be accomplished and a timeline to do them in. We rush around showering and multi-tasking in our heads the duties of the day, making mental lists and reminders for ourselves of the multitude of must do's like "get hamburger out for dinner, put in a load of laundry before work, pay gas bill, call dentist on lunch, clean bathroooms tonight, get dogfood." We plan and manipulate our time to the skin of our teeth, seldom leaving time for pee breaks, let alone time for ourselves. Once in a blue moon, in a moment of clarity, we rearrange our lives for some much needed down time, to chillax, to bounce to nowhere. We close our eyes and dream. Ah, the peace of it.
Then we wake up, and start our day. But the funny thing about schedules, is that they can always be changed for the things and people we love. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, love and family come first. We can blow off work when we need to for a sick child, we can trek to the hospital daily for a seriously ill parent, we can rush to help a friend who's life has fallen apart. We fit it in. The schedule, written in air anyway, is erased and replaced. We place the importance on showing the love when the emergencies arise. We give the hugs and say "I love you, it will be okay."
But the deepest love happens without the words. Yes, it comes in the morning kisses and "how was your sleepy hugs," but it's also in the care packages we send to our children away at college or at sea for 6 months. It's in the endless meals of ramien noodles and macaroni and cheese . It's in the picking up of dirty laundry and cleaning of kitchens. It's in the endless hours of car pooling. It's in the sending of ads for jobs to friends who had a miserable day at work . It's in the inspirational emails you send to say 'you're really good at this, keep going." It's in the errands we run and the pizza we bring in case you are hungry. It's in the pats on the back at work to sad friends as well as in the happy smiles of our children when they have a good day or make a new joke we don't quite get. It's in the mundane details like buying apples for lunches, or keeping toilet paper on hand.
The love happens outside of the word and deeds we call love. It's in all the other things we do and say for our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers and even strangers, everyday. It's in the kindness. It's in the smiles. It's in the laughter. Sometimes we are too tired to remember this and even see that it is there in our minds and our behaviors. God shows us how to share it and spread it and make it multiply so that it fills our lives. We just need to slow down and feel the Wow of it. We need to see God's love in the minutia and in ourselves.
Maybe we don't need 52 words for love. We need only open our eyes and feel it.
The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. --Margaret Atwood
Trying to achieve a balanced life often gets tipped by the scales of love. We wake up with a set of goals for the day, a list of tasks which must be accomplished and a timeline to do them in. We rush around showering and multi-tasking in our heads the duties of the day, making mental lists and reminders for ourselves of the multitude of must do's like "get hamburger out for dinner, put in a load of laundry before work, pay gas bill, call dentist on lunch, clean bathroooms tonight, get dogfood." We plan and manipulate our time to the skin of our teeth, seldom leaving time for pee breaks, let alone time for ourselves. Once in a blue moon, in a moment of clarity, we rearrange our lives for some much needed down time, to chillax, to bounce to nowhere. We close our eyes and dream. Ah, the peace of it.
Then we wake up, and start our day. But the funny thing about schedules, is that they can always be changed for the things and people we love. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, love and family come first. We can blow off work when we need to for a sick child, we can trek to the hospital daily for a seriously ill parent, we can rush to help a friend who's life has fallen apart. We fit it in. The schedule, written in air anyway, is erased and replaced. We place the importance on showing the love when the emergencies arise. We give the hugs and say "I love you, it will be okay."
But the deepest love happens without the words. Yes, it comes in the morning kisses and "how was your sleepy hugs," but it's also in the care packages we send to our children away at college or at sea for 6 months. It's in the endless meals of ramien noodles and macaroni and cheese . It's in the picking up of dirty laundry and cleaning of kitchens. It's in the endless hours of car pooling. It's in the sending of ads for jobs to friends who had a miserable day at work . It's in the inspirational emails you send to say 'you're really good at this, keep going." It's in the errands we run and the pizza we bring in case you are hungry. It's in the pats on the back at work to sad friends as well as in the happy smiles of our children when they have a good day or make a new joke we don't quite get. It's in the mundane details like buying apples for lunches, or keeping toilet paper on hand.
The love happens outside of the word and deeds we call love. It's in all the other things we do and say for our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers and even strangers, everyday. It's in the kindness. It's in the smiles. It's in the laughter. Sometimes we are too tired to remember this and even see that it is there in our minds and our behaviors. God shows us how to share it and spread it and make it multiply so that it fills our lives. We just need to slow down and feel the Wow of it. We need to see God's love in the minutia and in ourselves.
Maybe we don't need 52 words for love. We need only open our eyes and feel it.
Show your love today on Valentine's day, not only to your families, but to the strangers and helpers that fill our lives everyday. Make a random act of kindness. Smile. Laugh. Give someone the good parking space. Let them ahead of you at the checkout. Shovel the neighbor's sidewalk. Pay the toll ahead of you. Leave a gift certificate for a co-worker in need. Make the coffee when it's empty. Clean up even though it's not your mess. Scrape the snow off someone's car. Take the time to thank someone who really just simply does a good job.
Put it out there and get it back ten fold. Let God's love grow in you today.
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