Love

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.


The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. --Margaret Atwood

Trying to achieve a balanced life often gets tipped by the scales of love. We wake up with a set of goals for the day, a list of tasks which must be accomplished and a timeline to do them in. We rush around showering and multi-tasking in our heads the duties of the day, making mental lists and reminders for ourselves of the multitude of must do's like "get hamburger out for dinner, put in a load of laundry before work, pay gas bill, call dentist on lunch, clean bathroooms tonight, get dogfood." We plan and manipulate our time to the skin of our teeth, seldom leaving time for pee breaks, let alone time for ourselves. Once in a blue moon, in a moment of clarity, we rearrange our lives for some much needed down time, to chillax, to bounce to nowhere. We close our eyes and dream. Ah, the peace of it.

Then we wake up, and start our day. But the funny thing about schedules, is that they can always be changed for the things and people we love. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, love and family come first. We can blow off work when we need to for a sick child, we can trek to the hospital daily for a seriously ill parent, we can rush to help a friend who's life has fallen apart. We fit it in. The schedule, written in air anyway, is erased and replaced. We place the importance on showing the love when the emergencies arise. We give the hugs and say "I love you, it will be okay."

But the deepest love happens without the words. Yes, it comes in the morning kisses and "how was your sleepy hugs," but it's also in the care packages we send to our children away at college or at sea for 6 months. It's in the endless meals of ramien noodles and macaroni and cheese . It's in the picking up of dirty laundry and cleaning of kitchens. It's in the endless hours of car pooling. It's in the sending of ads for jobs to friends who had a miserable day at work . It's in the inspirational emails you send to say 'you're really good at this, keep going." It's in the errands we run and the pizza we bring in case you are hungry. It's in the pats on the back at work to sad friends as well as in the happy smiles of our children when they have a good day or make a new joke we don't quite get. It's in the mundane details like buying apples for lunches, or keeping toilet paper on hand.

The love happens outside of the word and deeds we call love. It's in all the other things we do and say for our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers and even strangers, everyday. It's in the kindness. It's in the smiles. It's in the laughter. Sometimes we are too tired to remember this and even see that it is there in our minds and our behaviors. God shows us how to share it and spread it and make it multiply so that it fills our lives. We just need to slow down and feel the Wow of it. We need to see God's love in the minutia and in ourselves.

Maybe we don't need 52 words for love. We need only open our eyes and feel it.

Show your love today on Valentine's day, not only to your families, but to the strangers and helpers that fill our lives everyday. Make a random act of kindness. Smile. Laugh. Give someone the good parking space. Let them ahead of you at the checkout. Shovel the neighbor's sidewalk. Pay the toll ahead of you. Leave a gift certificate for a co-worker in need. Make the coffee when it's empty. Clean up even though it's not your mess. Scrape the snow off someone's car. Take the time to thank someone who really just simply does a good job.

Put it out there and get it back ten fold. Let God's love grow in you today.

BFF....but not today

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

Do you remember the trials and tribulations of junior high? Trying to fit in. Trying to dress the right way so you don't get beaten up on the bus. Trying to hide that first really big case of acne. Dying when you had to dress for swimming in the locker room. Having your first crush. Trying to make new friends and keep the old. Good times and bad, all rolled into one.

My twin girl, little cupcake, went to "Activity Night" at the middle school (think dance for us old timers.) Muffin boy thought the idea of it "sucked." She dressed up and had to be first in line to get her ticket during lunch, in case they sold out. All excited about going. Goes with her friend and meets her other girlfriends. Seems to have a good time.

2 days later she says she has to tell me something. OMG, what. Her BFF, who has been having fights with cupcakes other friend, Miss Betty Crocker, decides she can't be friends with cupcake anymore. Just like that. And announces it to the world. Ouch. But cupcake seems to be handling it okay. We will live and conquer. I think, wow, she is just okay with this. One of her 2 BFF's says that's it, and onward she goes. I remind her to be kind, to still say hi, to not say anything mean about the former friends to other people, to try to show class.

I remind cupcake that God handles all problems for us, we just have to hand them other to him. I talk about putting my problems in a big basket and asking God for guidance, for direction and love. To let us feel peace. Probably too much for a kid to absorb, I get that. And I remind myself to take my own advice. To give my problems to God.

I was recently deeply hurt by a friend, when I remembered my talk with cupcake. Hand it over. Let God be your guide and director on this one. See yourself to peace. It's easy to give in. To cry and see only the downside, which is that you don't have that friend anymore. But the greater good, is when we give thanks, and anticipate the good that is right around the corner.
It may not stop the tears from falling, but it will help you feel rejuvenated by them instead. Feel the renewal and cleansing of the tears. See the healing power of letting it all go.

Or, on a bad day, just picture taking the person who hurt you, and getting a big nut cracker, and putting them in it. Really absurd I know, but also really satisfying.

Have, whatever makes you smile today.