Love

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.


The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. --Margaret Atwood

Trying to achieve a balanced life often gets tipped by the scales of love. We wake up with a set of goals for the day, a list of tasks which must be accomplished and a timeline to do them in. We rush around showering and multi-tasking in our heads the duties of the day, making mental lists and reminders for ourselves of the multitude of must do's like "get hamburger out for dinner, put in a load of laundry before work, pay gas bill, call dentist on lunch, clean bathroooms tonight, get dogfood." We plan and manipulate our time to the skin of our teeth, seldom leaving time for pee breaks, let alone time for ourselves. Once in a blue moon, in a moment of clarity, we rearrange our lives for some much needed down time, to chillax, to bounce to nowhere. We close our eyes and dream. Ah, the peace of it.

Then we wake up, and start our day. But the funny thing about schedules, is that they can always be changed for the things and people we love. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, love and family come first. We can blow off work when we need to for a sick child, we can trek to the hospital daily for a seriously ill parent, we can rush to help a friend who's life has fallen apart. We fit it in. The schedule, written in air anyway, is erased and replaced. We place the importance on showing the love when the emergencies arise. We give the hugs and say "I love you, it will be okay."

But the deepest love happens without the words. Yes, it comes in the morning kisses and "how was your sleepy hugs," but it's also in the care packages we send to our children away at college or at sea for 6 months. It's in the endless meals of ramien noodles and macaroni and cheese . It's in the picking up of dirty laundry and cleaning of kitchens. It's in the endless hours of car pooling. It's in the sending of ads for jobs to friends who had a miserable day at work . It's in the inspirational emails you send to say 'you're really good at this, keep going." It's in the errands we run and the pizza we bring in case you are hungry. It's in the pats on the back at work to sad friends as well as in the happy smiles of our children when they have a good day or make a new joke we don't quite get. It's in the mundane details like buying apples for lunches, or keeping toilet paper on hand.

The love happens outside of the word and deeds we call love. It's in all the other things we do and say for our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers and even strangers, everyday. It's in the kindness. It's in the smiles. It's in the laughter. Sometimes we are too tired to remember this and even see that it is there in our minds and our behaviors. God shows us how to share it and spread it and make it multiply so that it fills our lives. We just need to slow down and feel the Wow of it. We need to see God's love in the minutia and in ourselves.

Maybe we don't need 52 words for love. We need only open our eyes and feel it.

Show your love today on Valentine's day, not only to your families, but to the strangers and helpers that fill our lives everyday. Make a random act of kindness. Smile. Laugh. Give someone the good parking space. Let them ahead of you at the checkout. Shovel the neighbor's sidewalk. Pay the toll ahead of you. Leave a gift certificate for a co-worker in need. Make the coffee when it's empty. Clean up even though it's not your mess. Scrape the snow off someone's car. Take the time to thank someone who really just simply does a good job.

Put it out there and get it back ten fold. Let God's love grow in you today.

Say Thank You

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very souls.


Many days I hear, "This, Too, Shall Pass"--words that my late mother often said to remind me that whatever it is, it won't last. And I often find myself mentally asking, Where's the Thank You Power?--a reminder to look for the blessings in every situation because they are there.
But my personal tagline is "Here to Make a Difference." I have never for a moment believed that life was just a series of days, and then you die. I believe we were meant to experience as much as we have the opportunity to, and to have meaningful connections with the people around us. I think that when we leave this earth, something about it should be better for our having been here.
There are so many ways to make that difference, which is really what Thank You Power is all about. Doing something for someone else makes both of you feel good. The broaden-and-build aspect of feeling good makes you more adventurous and more inclined to try the new things that make life invigorating. The new experiences give you memories that, when recalled, lift you up even more.1 It's an upward spiral that all starts with Thank You Power.---from the book by Deborah Norville, Thank you Power

I started reading this book last week and just had to share some of it. I have always found myself gravitating to my tried and true beliefs during stressful times. Years ago, I read in a Jan Karon "Mitford Series" novel, that we need to give thanks for all things. In the book, Father Tim stops stressing for his being afflicted with diabetes, and gives thanks for this to God. He finally sees that the blessings in his friends and parishioners that help him with his disease, in the foods that he is allowed to savor occasionally and in his need to slow down and take life as it comes, instead of rushing through it like a freight train.

I know in times of stress that it's hard to find the grace, to look for the good, and most of all to try and do something good for someone else. It seems to be the last thing we have time to do, but in reality, this is the thing that sets us free to experience God's love in ourselves, to feel his healing power.

Last Sunday I came home not to a new set of kitchen cabinets, but to an empty kitchen because the new layout was not right for the current space. I had no cabinets, no counter, no dishwasher, and worst of all no sink. I loaded the dishes in my 5 gallon pail and threw them into the utility tub. I couldn't imagine what we were going to do now and was screaming inside, trying hard not to show how distressed I was. I took out my frustration on a bag of pretzels and hot cheese. Yum!
The next day I tried to come up with a plan and called our kitchen designer and got some options on what we might need to change in the cupboard layout if we did indeed measure wrong. I tried to think positively and picture the final, beautiful kitchen I would have, thinking Easter was a good time frame to plan for. Easter 2009. After all, I really like washing dishes in a bucket!

Then I came home, I found out the real problem was the new window we just put in. The bigger window which was moved 5 inches to the right to make room for the bigger sink. Except, it should have gone 5 inches to the left, since the corner most cabinet was smaller. Oops. My husband did not want to do this, since it meant a probable extra week without the kitchen. ()Think 3 extra weeks). He didn't want me to have to go that long without a kitchen. He was desperately trying to make it right. When I realized this, I stopped him and thanked him for working so hard on the kitchen, even when his hands were going numb and he couldn't lift another tool. I said it was okay, and the suggested he just get an opinion from his Dad. Just talk to him about it. And I silently gave thanks that my father-in-law was a home builder for many years.

When Dad saw the problem, he just said, "Move the window." Simple as that. Just a mistake. Fix it and go on. Fix it and forget about it. No big deal really, stuff happens.And he came the next night, and helped move it. I returned home that night at 9, to a 8 foot by 6 foot gaping hole in my kitchen wall. At 9 o'clock at night, when it was going to be 45 overnight, a hole large enough to drive a car through. Augh! Well, I locked myself in the bedroom and proceeded to kill a bag of potato chips. Bad chips! Bad! Take that! I was tired and went to sleep to the whir of the saws. I gave thanks for the help and figured they would stop soon and just board up the space. We would be cold, but we would be on the way to having it fixed. Tomorrow is another day.

I woke up to a nice, shiny new window in the right space. All lined up for the new sink. They worked until midnight. My mother-in-law was calling every hour trying to get her husband to stop and rest from his diabetes. But he hung on, and got it in for us.

Thanks Dad. Thanks husband. Thanks friends who are helping me through this remodel. Thanks for all the kind support and love as I write this blog. Thanks for getting me writing again. And thank you God for my wonderful life.