Saturday, April 12, 2008

Mrs. Goodwrench

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.

Day 31 of Free Agency

I pulled myself out of nap mode long enough to try and blog again. It's amazing how time expands when you have no constraints. The same chores that you rush through in 30 minutes in between day job and night job as chauffeur, can take you 3 hours, 3 days, or in some cases, months.

Finishing up the RW Caldwell classes...so what do you want to be when you grow up? Name you three biggest strengths. Tell me your greatest weakness?

Weakness? Chocolate bars dipped in peanut butter at 1 a.m. while watching Conan? Oh, you mean in business. Well, I have no mechanical ability. Zip. Zilch. Impossible. Can't figure one thing out, pretty sure gravity doesn't even exist. Nothing seems to gel inside my brain.

You know the genome project where they are documenting all the genetic codes? I am positive they will find there is a chromosome just for mechanics. And God left mine out. My proof that it's genetic? My brothers, and my twins, both evidence of the genetic predisposition to many things in life.

My eldest brother, Mr. Computer, is a wizard at anything electronic or computer gadgetry. When he was a teenager, he took apart my parents new stereo, just to see how it worked. Then he went out and bought the parts to make his own top notch stereo system. He funded this little project with money he made at school. My brother is a money magnet. From age 6, he knew how to cash in. He used to sell his homemade lunch, his sandwich, his cookies and his chips, and use the money to buy a school lunch and have money left over to save. When he was in high school, he again analyzed the situation and figured out how to profit.

Back in the day, they had lock built into the lockers in the high school. My bro got tired of using a combination for the lock, and wanted a key instead. They school had a master key that worked all locks. My brother bought a blank key, and notched, and filed, and worked it until he made a key that fit the lock. But he did not stop there. No, all his friends wanted keys. He went to the hardware store and ordered a gross of blank keys--144 blanks. He sat in the garage and hand cut and filed all the keys. Sold them for $5 each, at a time when minimum wage was a $1. The school didn't take too kindly, and called my parents to ask him to stop. Can you imagine that today? His butt would be long gone from the school in this age, but all they did was call. Please cease and desist. Funny.

My other brother was a genius with cars. When he was 12, he tore apart his mini bike and built a go-cart. Designed a frame and welded it to fit his 5'6' frame. Made a roll cage for the go-cart and padded it. Put on regular brakes on it. Painted it. He and all his friends tore up and down the fields with that thing. Lots of fun. My brother could look at something and figure out how it worked. Not a lot of training needed, just a natural talent.

And my twins? Luke has a lot of the same talents. He started putting his chain on his bike and his sisters at age 6. We know Mom couldn't get them back on . Once we went to a team baseball party at a private home with a 5 acre man-made pond. All the toys a kid could want there, a trampoline on the water, a diving dock, trout for fishing, a beach, and paddle boats. Now my twins hadn't been on a paddle boat. As soon as we got there, Luke put on the swimming vest and pushed the boat in the water and hops in alone. You see him take a minute, paddle forward, paddle backward, turn right, turn left, figuring it out. He calmly backs up, turns and plays in the boat for 20 minutes. Brings it to shore, backing it in, pulling it on the sand for the next people. Then he hops in the canoe with some other kids, to paddle the lake.

Out comes Maggie, swim vest on, hops in the paddle boat. If her twin can do it, so can she. No fear here like Mom has of new things, but also no natural abilities. She paddles all around the lake, having fun, but ends up in the middle. Going around in circles. No clue how to stop or go another direction or how to get back. Starts screaming, "Mom, Mom, help! help!"

Of course you know I can't help. Luke is on the trampoline by now. Elder son Wild child is swimming. Wild child hops in the other paddle boat, goes to the trampoline to pick up Luke, who hops in the side. Luke doesn't even sit, just crouches ready to jump in the other paddle boat. They pull up along side Maggie, and Luke jumps in, pushing Maggie to the other seat, and steers her back to shore. All at age 8. Amazing.

Mom was on shore watching with amused eyes, trying hard not to cry as I was holding in the laughter. Poor Maggie I thought, she has my stupid mechanical genes. Well, I knew just what to do. Bake cookies. Why cookies? Because I always bake cookies to get what I want fixed. Age old solution, the way to a man's....mechanics is through his stomach.

Come on Maggie, time for that baking lesson. And that entry level mechanics class. It's the 21st century. Women need to do it all. And boys, Luke and Wild Child, come learn how to bake those cookies you love. The way to a good woman's heart is through a gourmet meal, so let's go.

Well rounded strengths. That's what we all need. As for me, well, what kind of cookies do you want?

2 comments:

tashabud said...

Enjoyed reading your post and was able to visualize everyting that you were describing.

Shari Schmidt said...

So funny! I'm under contract with a high-tech consulting firm. It amazes everyone how low tech my life is. Heh, they hired me for my marketing, not my IT skills.