Let Go and Let God

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can be, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.


"Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings."

Years ago I read the Mitford Series by Jan Caron. I loved the cosy books, set in the fictional small town of Mitford, North Carolina with Father Tim. One minute I would be caught up in the story, another I would be wanting to talk one of the characters out of something they were planning to do; other times I would want to have a heart to heart with Father Tim and tell him all my troubles. At one point early on in the series, Father Tim, a sweetaholic, comes down with diabetes. Here we really see him with all his human failings cursing the disease and fighting against it. He's mad, he's sad, he's in denial, he's making bargains to get away from the daily management of a terminal disease, when he has an Epiphany. He goes back to his roots, and remembers to "Give Thanks for all things". He begins to give thanks for everything in his life, even diabetes. He turns his life as always over to God, and understands that we must put our faith in the higher and love everything in our life, to laugh and love it and make it our own, whatever the problem it. We can't understand what may come out of whatever we are going through, but we must let it go, give it to God, and give it love.

As Moms we find this easy to teach our children to do, saying and showing, "its okay honey, no worries." We love, encourage and nurture them in thousands of ways everyday, starting at dawn when we wake them for their day, making them breakfast while simultaneously packing our own lunch, emptying the dishwasher and starting a load of laundry; moving on to make appointments, pay bills or run errands thorough our lunchtime, coming home to cook dinner, finish laundry and run them to the store replace the headphones they cannot live without, all the while we are listening to them, checking them for illness, worrying in an instant about their lives today and for the next 50 years.

We love them with all our hearts and soul from the time of conception, and we create the environments for them to thrive. We give them love, we give them balance by being the CEO of our household and we forgive them for any and all slights that occur. That's what Moms are supposed to do, yet we seldom remember to give this to ourselves. We fret, we worry, we get mad, we get sad and we take on more duties to help them get through stuff. We give it our all constantly, and are reminded repeatedly at work, on TV, in magazine, books & songs to do more, to be more, learn more, to have more. What if that really is the opposite of what we should do?

I woke up, 530 again, ready to journal, to dump out my angry thoughts about a situation I am in. I open the journal to write, and realize I have my previous journal, not the new one. On the page I opened was this thought:

"Give yourself wiggle room,see what it might feel like to not be all or nothing. Let go & let God."-me


I had been asking God for what to do about my problem each night before I went to sleep. I basically felt I needed to learn yet again how to not be myself, to behave contrary to my nature, to be a different person. I was fretting and hating some parts of myself that caused the issue in the first place and felt I needed to change. I needed to give it my all to be this way, so of course read books on it, write about it, make a plan on how to do, give myself daily talks on how to do it, learn to do this, don't give in, and by all means, never let them see you sweat.

What would I tell my children if it was them explaining the problem? I would say be who God meant you to be, and I would probably talk about one of my more memorable job interview questions for a job I obviously was not meant to be at. They asked, "If you were on "Survivor" would you make it to the final four? My brain screamed, give them the speech about giving it your all and succeeding, its what they want to hear and my heart said, Live without a comfy bed and my morning coffee, are you nuts, I'd never be in the final four on "Survivor." I decided to answer with a joke instead, saying that I can cook well and men usually can't, so I'd exchange skills to make it a win-win for everyone, a survivor first.

I believe in the original team building mentality, where we are all in it together. We sing each others praises and do what we do best individually, making us more than we we were to begin with. As a manager and a Mom, I have to see the big picture that maybe if someone is struggling at something, its not in their nature to be that way or they don't have the skills right now to do it. Remember when our kids were little, and they tried to clean their room quickly by making one big pile in their closet? The first time you opened the door, Mt. Everest of clothes & toys toppled over, sometimes breaking fragile things piled in the middle. They would then try to wiggle out of it, try to find a way to fix it by propping it up or shutting the door, which of course never worked, would instead bury them in clothes, making them laugh and scream, "Mom, help!" Or how about when they first when to the store alone & tried to bag groceries? They'd get home, and the bread would be on the bottom of the bag, all squished and flat? They'd look at you with their sad eyes, and try to cover it up saying, "Umm, well, can we make grilled cheese out of it?" You'd laugh and say "its okay, let me get that for you."

Why is it, when confronted with our own issues, we seldom give ourselves this wiggle room, seldom tell ourselves to laugh & ask for help? Maybe we should just remember to bury ourselves in laughter and let God handle it.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.



Sometimes, paying attention to the things your kids say can surprise you more then you think. They can cause your hormones to rise to Mt. St. Helen's erupting levels one minute, and fill you with unexpected joy the next. I often wish it wasn't all in the same ten minutes in the morning when you are rushing to start your day, but so be it.



It's in the slowing down and really pulling into their words our hearts, that we grow and are rewarded. It's a little piece of God, reminding us of the everyday joys.



Driving in the Car: Always an experience. This one's too hot, this one's too cold. Usually, it's that we can't the heat going fast enough (we do like in Buffalo). So, yesterday, when we hopped in the car and cranked the heat, I had it at turned to a tropical 85 degrees. At home, I often fight over the temperature with DH, who likes it cold. He can run around in a blizzard in a tee shirt and be happy. So there I was cranking it, and not even noticing that I do this. And twin muffin boy gets in and feels the heat, commenting, "Wow, how nice to have your own space Mom. You can crank it as hot as you want!"



Facing Traffic Jams: It often jams up on Main street by our house. You barely get in the lane, and then you sit. Sometimes its 3 lights, and you think you will get to the other side, and don't. You sit, stuck in first place, being supremely irritated at this. And twin muffin boy comments again "Cool! You are in first place! You'll win the race for sure Mom!"



Watching TV preachers (who me? Where's the beef?). I get up today in time to catch Joel Osteen's Sunday message. I tend to sleep past this point, but I got up and was happy. The twins are cuddled in blankets, zoning out to Sponge Bob. I tell them I am changing the channel and they are happy to join in and listen, to pause and think about the message. Today Joel talks about changing your attitude. Seeing your problems as "light afflictions" instead of the end of the world. I tell the twins to give Thanks and count your blessings. Change your attitude about Joel and give him a chance, its only 30 minutes a week.



I think maybe it's working, when Muffin Boy smiles, looks at the computer and whispers to his sister, "Thank God it's only 15 more minutes."



You just can't help but smiling and laughing everyday.

New Year's Resolutions

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"Is this from when YOU were our age? You know, like the 1950's"--cupcake twin, commenting on my choice of Eurthymics music video on You Tube

I actually made some resolutions this year. Me, miss anti-resolution got all sentimental and went hog wild. Liked them so much I emailed them to friends and myself at work.

Cared so little about them I didn't save them anywhere. (Hey guys, can you send them back to me so I know what I am doing????)


I remember the most important one (okay, I numbered it number one, so I must have decided it was the cat's meow of resolutions.)

1. LAUGH EVERYDAY

My work friend Mr. Comedy often talks about laughing with his kids. Talks about watching a movie or TV show and then describes the scene and the general jocularity. Mentions surfing the net and sharing jokes with college bound son. Tells funny stories about his 3 cats. Yes, 3, he is a little deranged. And I laugh right along and get silly.

But then I realized. I work 2 jobs. I struggle to exercise in the morning and keep the house going at night. I carpool the kids everywhere. But when do I take the time to laugh with them? When did the joy I got everyday when they were little and I was home playing with them, disappear?

So I made it a priority this year. Laugh with my kids. Laugh at the news. And laugh at the absurd things which drive us nuts at work. You know, like being told by 3 different people at the same time, that they need something RIGHT now. OK, like that is a possibility. Laugh and feel the joy, even when it's a Wednesday edition of Monday morning blues.

Tonight we surfed You Tube. JKL Productions has a ton of teenage made videos which are just silly. Fred on Halloween2. Fred goes to the Park. Fred gets Babysat. The Tooth Fairy. Hilarious. I was dying. And its just the type of thing we would joke about back in the dark ages of high school. When we had to do it live, in a conversation, or in notes in Mr. Streit's physics class at Orchard Park High. Laughing at everyday things in life. Seeing the absurd. And letting the joy out. Doing Monty Python jokes with Kevin and Sandi and Erik in the hallways. And just being happy.

Another resolution was to not settle for mediocrity. Do a job right the first time. Hit the mark on the first try. Life purposefully, and not aimlessly. Life your best life now. Have dreams. Have faith. Have goals.

The Queen wants to go to Italy at the end of September. I have $214 already for the trip. My goal it to go with her. Or at least die laughing while I try to save the money while raising 3 kids.

Send me your resolutions and let's talk...or at least, send me my own back so I can see what exactly I wrote after that bottle of New Year's bubbly!