Friday, July 25, 2008

Throwing out the scale

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.

Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind. ----Leonardo da Vinci

Today, I threw out the scale.

It's sitting in the garbage right now, wondering what it ever did to me but tell the truth. Well, the truth in terms of bags of potatoes maybe. As in, how many 50 pound sacks do we weigh today?

I've had enough with the scales' smug attitude. It didn't love me and support me enough in my time of need. It didn't cuddle up and tell me I look fabulous, simply fabulous darling. No, it just hadn't budged in weeks. Weeks, really, it could have moved a lousy pound, couldn't it?

Would it really hurt it to lie a little and tell me the pina colada's, taco supremes and pizza had no effect on me? So what if I screwed up a few times each week, wasn't I trying the other 95% of the time? Didn't I make it to the gym and about die in spinning class? Wasn't I sure on the way to washing my own clothes in sweat, while I was still wearing them? Aren't I getting up at 530 to start my day? Where is the loyalty now, mister? Cut me some slack, I'm a good girl.

Well, okay, I am a good girl. I have changed a million habits, left over from the ice age known as my 20's. I stopped eating butter. Dropped the high fat cheese habit. No pop tarts for mid-morning break, strictly Greek yogurt for me. Half a sandwich at lunch. Munching on almonds, drinking the water. Isn't that enough?

No, the reality is, it's not. Calories count. Calories count big time the older you get. Those 3 time a week lapses can't be shaken off easily anymore. You need to plan for the binges and control them. You need to work out longer and harder to cover for them, that's the every day fact of life now. You need to build muscle to maintain shape. You need to keep moving to be flexible. You need to do cardio to have energy for the weekends. You need to keep make exercise and eating less a mantra. You need to ramp up your plans for your body as you age.

Living in sweat pants and stretchy shorts is not helping the matter. I don't think a future employer will appreciate big shirts pulled out over the fat pants, held together with a rubber band at the waist. I'm pretty sure business dress codes don't encompass that.

But still, today, when I look at everything going on, I am sure it's the scales fault. It's not mine. It's not my age. It's not the peri-menopause symptoms. It's not genetics of the 6'5" 350 pounds relatives lurking in the past. It's not the snacks while sitting on the patio sipping a cool adult beverage. Nope, it must be the scale.

Instead of the scale, I'm building a dream board today. Healthy pictures, nice dreams of Paris and Maui, relaxing sayings instead. Hang up a size smaller outfit and try it on, picture myself in it, imagine. Use the dream imaging instead of the scale. The scale is just a number after all, and I am so much more then that. I have thoughts, feelings, beliefs that rise above all that.

Today I conquer the world, without the dry measurement of an obscene weight amount

Watch out world, here I come.

The tape measure better hide, it could be next.

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