Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Just do it needs to be my motto for the year. I tend to procrastinate big time and use any excuse to do something else. It comes down to organization mostly.
The kids are off school today and wanted to see a movie last night. I put off cleaning and weekly chores on Saturday, so I had to do them yesterday. Normally, Sunday is cooking day. I make the big old-fashioned Sunday dinner and usually at least one more thing for during the week.
So, here it was crunch time, I cleaned, its time to cook and I was blowing it off, or I might of, but I decided instead to have Maggie and Luke help me, so I could do my 3 hours of cooking in an hour. It was the price they had to pay for fitting the movie in around Sunday dinner. As we rushed, DH kept asking what we were doing, and they replied "Cooking for the week." And we did, in an hour. Pretty much side dishes need to finished, but all meals should be assembled and heated in less than 30 mins this week.
We made: Pasta con Vodka sauce with chicken. I have started making my sauce, so I made a huge triple batch, split some out, made it into vodka sauce, which I made a double of. Cooked chicken and pasta, and finished it. Put double Pot roast in oven, half will be beef stew another night. Baked chicken wings and strips of plain chicken for me (trying to be good.). Twins mixed up and rolled meatballs (no Luke, half-pounders do NOT work here) and baked them. Nice to have a double oven to play with. Kids also made a huge bowl of salad and cut up veggies for wing night.
We save a lot by not making convenience meals or take out. I try to show them real food doesn't take too long and is fun. We also started making our own cappuccino mix. They can make it hot or cold. For about $6, we make a huge 3 pound coffee can that last the 3 of them 2 weeks.
Now if I could only automate laundry into an hour a week, I'd have it made.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Self Care
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
"Your overweight self doesn't stand before you craving food, she's craving love."--Marianne Williamson
I did my weekly grocery shopping yesterday and finally tracked down the January issue of "O" magazine (no Mr. Clancy, its not about orgasms, its the Oprah magazine, get over yourself already.) I've not really ever been a reader of her magazine, but I wanted to read about her comments on struggling with her weight. Yes, I could have trekked to the library, but my weekly trip has been rescheduled out of my life for a couple of months now. So, I found her comments on her struggle last year with her 40 found weight gain very informative, and here is one part that hit home for once:
What I've learned this year is that my weight issue isn't about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid., It's about my life being out of balance, with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry. Here's another thing this past year has been trying to teach me, Oprah continues, " I don't have a weight problem--I have a self-care problem that manifest itself through weight."
Now I have heard the self-care line many times before, but it really clicked when I read that, or you could say, I finally listened to it after searching out just that article. For the past 40 days or so I wanted to read that and kept thinking about it--why? I say we really do get messages when we are ready to listen, and not just when we need them.
A self-care problem, me? I decided it must be an issue when I closely examined my dear friends Christmas presents to me. Syd's Mom bought me beautiful purple gloves and a scarf--after hearing that I never have gloves because my kids take them, and lose them, and I don't get out to replace them, I just drive around like a bag woman with mismatched gloves. (honestly, this story gets worse). The queen bought me jammies, "Barking All the Way" is on them, in honor of my dog Molly, who never shuts up when we are on the phone. The jammies are because I often can't find cuddly clothes to lounge around in, the sweats are dirty, the 2 pair of jammies are lost in the sea of laundry I haven't finished. And Mrs. GM gave me a glass measuring cup for liquid measure and a wine opener. She watched me try to get the cork off my wine opener so I could open another bottle, using pliers and whatever else, and decided maybe I had an issue with the old one. Again, why buy a new one, only I drink wine, its okay, never mind me, just go on.
Wonderful, thoughtful gifts, everyone of them, and they all scream that I don't love myself enough to buy things to make my life easier. I put myself last, or in the case of the library, not on the list at all. Push your needs aside and never handle them. I can do without, its okay, I'm a Mom right? I even took exercising off the list. I so treasure my one hour alone before they house wakes from their crypts, that I stopped going to the gym. My husband started working overnights and is often asleep at night. In our tiny house, this means one less room to go to for solitude. I suddenly had no place to have quiet and wasn't getting it. The only time I could grab it was at 4 a.m. when I normally awoke to get up and go to the gym at 5. (I know, again with the why at that time--because I don't take time away from the family at night when I workout in the morning.)
And then the food issues. Well, don't cook vegetables and fruits and seafood that you love, cook crap convenience food because everyone else likes that. There is a point when compromise becomes burying yourself a sea of excuses and you need to dig out and begin again. Love yourself enough to schedule your life with YOU in it. Plan some fun, buy what is necessary to make life livable and don't look back. I started with a chick flick on Friday with Hannah, rolled into Saturday by not working, and added in a trip to the book store on Sunday. Go me.
I actually bought socks yesterday at Marshall's. The size 12's I was blessed with, which double as rocket launching pads for NASA, needed new coverings. I needed them for forever, as witnessed by me canvassing around for baseball socks last week when I couldn't find the last good pair I owned. I have to buy men's to have them last, and wasn't even making the trip for the past year. Jeesh. But I found them and some other goodies as well, like designer jeans for $16, yeah me!
And this whole self-care thing isn't just about putting me in the equation, its about health. As I called my good friend last night to check on her Mom's breast cancer, she reminded me, we both need to lose the belly fat. Most major diseases come from that and we aren't young anymore as we think . Time is running out and we need to get the fat off now, not be a super model, but be healthy.
Time to hit the gym....now where are those spinning shorts and sneaks? Do you think they'd let me in With jammies on?
Take care of you, so you can take care of everyone else. Live strong.
"Your overweight self doesn't stand before you craving food, she's craving love."--Marianne Williamson
I did my weekly grocery shopping yesterday and finally tracked down the January issue of "O" magazine (no Mr. Clancy, its not about orgasms, its the Oprah magazine, get over yourself already.) I've not really ever been a reader of her magazine, but I wanted to read about her comments on struggling with her weight. Yes, I could have trekked to the library, but my weekly trip has been rescheduled out of my life for a couple of months now. So, I found her comments on her struggle last year with her 40 found weight gain very informative, and here is one part that hit home for once:
What I've learned this year is that my weight issue isn't about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid., It's about my life being out of balance, with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry. Here's another thing this past year has been trying to teach me, Oprah continues, " I don't have a weight problem--I have a self-care problem that manifest itself through weight."
Now I have heard the self-care line many times before, but it really clicked when I read that, or you could say, I finally listened to it after searching out just that article. For the past 40 days or so I wanted to read that and kept thinking about it--why? I say we really do get messages when we are ready to listen, and not just when we need them.
A self-care problem, me? I decided it must be an issue when I closely examined my dear friends Christmas presents to me. Syd's Mom bought me beautiful purple gloves and a scarf--after hearing that I never have gloves because my kids take them, and lose them, and I don't get out to replace them, I just drive around like a bag woman with mismatched gloves. (honestly, this story gets worse). The queen bought me jammies, "Barking All the Way" is on them, in honor of my dog Molly, who never shuts up when we are on the phone. The jammies are because I often can't find cuddly clothes to lounge around in, the sweats are dirty, the 2 pair of jammies are lost in the sea of laundry I haven't finished. And Mrs. GM gave me a glass measuring cup for liquid measure and a wine opener. She watched me try to get the cork off my wine opener so I could open another bottle, using pliers and whatever else, and decided maybe I had an issue with the old one. Again, why buy a new one, only I drink wine, its okay, never mind me, just go on.
Wonderful, thoughtful gifts, everyone of them, and they all scream that I don't love myself enough to buy things to make my life easier. I put myself last, or in the case of the library, not on the list at all. Push your needs aside and never handle them. I can do without, its okay, I'm a Mom right? I even took exercising off the list. I so treasure my one hour alone before they house wakes from their crypts, that I stopped going to the gym. My husband started working overnights and is often asleep at night. In our tiny house, this means one less room to go to for solitude. I suddenly had no place to have quiet and wasn't getting it. The only time I could grab it was at 4 a.m. when I normally awoke to get up and go to the gym at 5. (I know, again with the why at that time--because I don't take time away from the family at night when I workout in the morning.)
And then the food issues. Well, don't cook vegetables and fruits and seafood that you love, cook crap convenience food because everyone else likes that. There is a point when compromise becomes burying yourself a sea of excuses and you need to dig out and begin again. Love yourself enough to schedule your life with YOU in it. Plan some fun, buy what is necessary to make life livable and don't look back. I started with a chick flick on Friday with Hannah, rolled into Saturday by not working, and added in a trip to the book store on Sunday. Go me.
I actually bought socks yesterday at Marshall's. The size 12's I was blessed with, which double as rocket launching pads for NASA, needed new coverings. I needed them for forever, as witnessed by me canvassing around for baseball socks last week when I couldn't find the last good pair I owned. I have to buy men's to have them last, and wasn't even making the trip for the past year. Jeesh. But I found them and some other goodies as well, like designer jeans for $16, yeah me!
And this whole self-care thing isn't just about putting me in the equation, its about health. As I called my good friend last night to check on her Mom's breast cancer, she reminded me, we both need to lose the belly fat. Most major diseases come from that and we aren't young anymore as we think . Time is running out and we need to get the fat off now, not be a super model, but be healthy.
Time to hit the gym....now where are those spinning shorts and sneaks? Do you think they'd let me in With jammies on?
Take care of you, so you can take care of everyone else. Live strong.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
New Year's Resolutions
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Happy New Year! May Joy, love and prosperity mark all your days of the year, and may good health be with you and your family.
It's time for self-evaluation, diets and belt tightening on the finances. Well, that got me through the morning of New Year's day, now what? Where do we go from here? Oh I know, I'll just think myself to a new me. Poof! I am blond, 25 years old and 125 pounds. Darn, the secret fairy didn't come through again! What now?
Well, I know I need to get back to the gym. And I need to eat better. Okay, I say that every year. I usually do well at the gym but have been having trouble. Try a new time for awhile and see how that goes. And then the food. Well, I need to eat more vegetable and teach the kids that green stuff is not just the pizza crust that fell under their bed. Its actually good for you and fills you up. So my goal is to try a new fruit or a new vegetable each week. This week, I made beans and green. I had it at the Queens' house on New year's day, so I looked it. Kale, okay so I bought that and cooked it. Made everyone eat a portion. No one really likes beans, but I will keep trying. Made chili this week too. Send the air freshener to my house and keep the matches away!! Maybe just a tad too much fiber at once. It's okay to have the windows open when it's 17 degrees out, isn't it?
And then the fruit. We just don't do it. So, I started buying juice for the kids, grape since its so good for you. And I will make a dessert out of fruit more often to get them used to it. We are just out of the habit.
And snacks, well try to limit them. So, I didn't buy them this week. Get them eating them on a weekend treat, and not the rest of the time. And then a nice dessert on Sunday only. Give the cookies and candy a rest. None of us need it. Maggie thinks dinners should just be veggies and sweets. Her twin likes the sour food, vinegar and hot sauce. Go figure that one out--did the taste buds split in have when they were hatched?
And the big one, maverick. He pretty much just wants tacos, pizza and pasta. I'll have to sneak the veggies in on him. I wonder if you can just grind them up and mix them in Red Bull or Monster? If those companies want Mom's on board, add vitamins and veggies and we're in. Convenience rules I guess.
And most of all for the food control, cook again. I made 4 meals on Sunday afternoon. My kids couldn't believe it and wondered what was up. Chili, broccoli soup, chicken picata, scalloped potatoes, ham, salad. They don't know what real food is anymore. Time to hop on that. I know they think dinner comes in a plastic bag to be microwaved, but I'll have to work on that. We don't buy out much, but we sure did get lazy on the premade food issues.
Send me your food tips! I need help. All this cooking wore me out....okay, just an excuse not to go to the gym again. I'll get on that--right after I eat the last of the Christmas cookies.
The best resolution I can make, besides the food--be a better person everyday. Let's get on that, shall we?
Happy New Year! May Joy, love and prosperity mark all your days of the year, and may good health be with you and your family.
It's time for self-evaluation, diets and belt tightening on the finances. Well, that got me through the morning of New Year's day, now what? Where do we go from here? Oh I know, I'll just think myself to a new me. Poof! I am blond, 25 years old and 125 pounds. Darn, the secret fairy didn't come through again! What now?
Well, I know I need to get back to the gym. And I need to eat better. Okay, I say that every year. I usually do well at the gym but have been having trouble. Try a new time for awhile and see how that goes. And then the food. Well, I need to eat more vegetable and teach the kids that green stuff is not just the pizza crust that fell under their bed. Its actually good for you and fills you up. So my goal is to try a new fruit or a new vegetable each week. This week, I made beans and green. I had it at the Queens' house on New year's day, so I looked it. Kale, okay so I bought that and cooked it. Made everyone eat a portion. No one really likes beans, but I will keep trying. Made chili this week too. Send the air freshener to my house and keep the matches away!! Maybe just a tad too much fiber at once. It's okay to have the windows open when it's 17 degrees out, isn't it?
And then the fruit. We just don't do it. So, I started buying juice for the kids, grape since its so good for you. And I will make a dessert out of fruit more often to get them used to it. We are just out of the habit.
And snacks, well try to limit them. So, I didn't buy them this week. Get them eating them on a weekend treat, and not the rest of the time. And then a nice dessert on Sunday only. Give the cookies and candy a rest. None of us need it. Maggie thinks dinners should just be veggies and sweets. Her twin likes the sour food, vinegar and hot sauce. Go figure that one out--did the taste buds split in have when they were hatched?
And the big one, maverick. He pretty much just wants tacos, pizza and pasta. I'll have to sneak the veggies in on him. I wonder if you can just grind them up and mix them in Red Bull or Monster? If those companies want Mom's on board, add vitamins and veggies and we're in. Convenience rules I guess.
And most of all for the food control, cook again. I made 4 meals on Sunday afternoon. My kids couldn't believe it and wondered what was up. Chili, broccoli soup, chicken picata, scalloped potatoes, ham, salad. They don't know what real food is anymore. Time to hop on that. I know they think dinner comes in a plastic bag to be microwaved, but I'll have to work on that. We don't buy out much, but we sure did get lazy on the premade food issues.
Send me your food tips! I need help. All this cooking wore me out....okay, just an excuse not to go to the gym again. I'll get on that--right after I eat the last of the Christmas cookies.
The best resolution I can make, besides the food--be a better person everyday. Let's get on that, shall we?
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
A Twin Christmas
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
One of the my favorite things to do at Christmas is to joke and talk about Christmas past. My children love to connect and share the history of their young lives over and over again. I started a Christmas journal years ago where I write about the holiday, who we visited with, what presents we exchanged, and how their lives are at that point in time. It's fun to do and wonderful to read.
The twins especially love to hear stories of our lives in the house when they were mere toddlers. We live in a tiny Cape Cod style house and only have the living room to keep the twins safe in. Like all parents, we child proofed the room and put away glass objects when they were small. Since Maverick is 3 years older, pretty much the room was kid safe. Or as we learned, kid safe is never twin safe.
We learned early that twins are more like combat troopers than toddlers. I am pretty sure the hospital should have sent us to boot camp to prepare instead of telling us how to change diapers. Look, we changed over 10,000 diapers but we never had twins in a room with a Christmas tree and presents before. I want to write a lecture "10,000 diapers and only one you. Guerrilla Momfare Survival Techniques Your Grandma Never Told You."
First, once the twins started to run marathons at age 9 months, we put the gate up on the living room to keep them in there during times of answering phones, taking pots out of oven and Mom trying to shower, pee and do her hair in under 5 minutes. Storm a gate with 2 bodies and it will come down. Buy another, stronger gate, same thing. Have husband build custom 3 foot gate with 2 inch plywood and slates to hold it in place, and now you have something. In the twins must stay, so what else can we do for fun? Oh, grab at pretty lamp shades and see what's in there that is shiny and burn your hand. Out goes lamps. Stand on brother to climb on end tables. Remove end tables. Run to Mom's bookcase and pull off pretty books, again, and again and again. Mom puts bookcase in bedroom. Hmm, room is kinda bare now, lets' climb on back of couch and touch pretty pictures on walls. Crash, boom, all pictures come down. Remove all objects on walls. Let's beat on TV entertainment center and climb in,. Put TV on floor. Not much left now, let's go in rocker. Rock, rock, right into wall and leave large holes in drywall that makes Daddy nuts. Out goes rocker.
And then we put up the Christmas tree. We were proactive, and took a large piece of leftover paneling and tied down tree stand. This prevented tipping of tree. No ornaments or lights on bottom, only top one foot. And no cover, let just keep taking it off tree stand and rolling in it. No presents, because ripping of paper is fun--Mom only needed to rewrap about 10 times to learn this, dumb mommy. So there we were with our bare room, only couch, love seat, and TV on floor, and a tied down Christmas tree. Still, it never looked lovelier. God decorated the room for me, with my beautiful family and our time together.
As I appr0ached this Christmas with the twins at age 12 and Maverick at 15, I was reminded of that sparse holiday. Money is beyond tight this season, so presents got less. But somehow, everywhere I turned I found exactly what I needed for my budget. Again and again I went to the well, dipped in my greedy hands for a drink, and God filled it up. Shirts were on clearance at Abercrombie for my god daughters. A sweatshirt that was really cool, price $100 was on sale for $35, so I could do the combined birthday-Christmas for my godson. Jeans were half the price I normally pay on sale. Flannel shirts appeared in perfect order at thrift store. Friends sent gift cards and gave me never been worn winter coats for Maggie. I found a great deal for Luke on a coat. The kids gave me small gift lists and seemed happy to get a few things. And then I got a great discount on a gift for my boss to make up for puking in his truck. Seems everyone loves a good story involving vomit and screaming at a new boss to drive faster and pass that granny going 20, who knew?
All around me abundance abounds. I don't have my cookies baked, my gifts wrapped or my house scrubbed. I am pretty sure laundry won't get caught up until 2010 and eggnog better double for Christmas eve dinner, or I am in trouble. I have bags under my eyes from trying to work while recovering from major surgery and somehow put on the Christmas pageant that takes weeks to orchestrate, a year to save up for, 5 minutes to unwrap, and lasts a lifetime.
And I wouldn't have it any other way. Chaos is bliss because it means that God trusts me with so much. I will work to remind us all that Christmas past is about the love and connections. Its the stories we share, like Jesus and Mary's travels and trials on that first Christmas. Ours just get richer with the retelling,
Share your stories this holiday season, just as we do in church and in the bible and in our prayers. Let them out and sing Joy to the World today.
God Bless and Merry Christmas.
One of the my favorite things to do at Christmas is to joke and talk about Christmas past. My children love to connect and share the history of their young lives over and over again. I started a Christmas journal years ago where I write about the holiday, who we visited with, what presents we exchanged, and how their lives are at that point in time. It's fun to do and wonderful to read.
The twins especially love to hear stories of our lives in the house when they were mere toddlers. We live in a tiny Cape Cod style house and only have the living room to keep the twins safe in. Like all parents, we child proofed the room and put away glass objects when they were small. Since Maverick is 3 years older, pretty much the room was kid safe. Or as we learned, kid safe is never twin safe.
We learned early that twins are more like combat troopers than toddlers. I am pretty sure the hospital should have sent us to boot camp to prepare instead of telling us how to change diapers. Look, we changed over 10,000 diapers but we never had twins in a room with a Christmas tree and presents before. I want to write a lecture "10,000 diapers and only one you. Guerrilla Momfare Survival Techniques Your Grandma Never Told You."
First, once the twins started to run marathons at age 9 months, we put the gate up on the living room to keep them in there during times of answering phones, taking pots out of oven and Mom trying to shower, pee and do her hair in under 5 minutes. Storm a gate with 2 bodies and it will come down. Buy another, stronger gate, same thing. Have husband build custom 3 foot gate with 2 inch plywood and slates to hold it in place, and now you have something. In the twins must stay, so what else can we do for fun? Oh, grab at pretty lamp shades and see what's in there that is shiny and burn your hand. Out goes lamps. Stand on brother to climb on end tables. Remove end tables. Run to Mom's bookcase and pull off pretty books, again, and again and again. Mom puts bookcase in bedroom. Hmm, room is kinda bare now, lets' climb on back of couch and touch pretty pictures on walls. Crash, boom, all pictures come down. Remove all objects on walls. Let's beat on TV entertainment center and climb in,. Put TV on floor. Not much left now, let's go in rocker. Rock, rock, right into wall and leave large holes in drywall that makes Daddy nuts. Out goes rocker.
And then we put up the Christmas tree. We were proactive, and took a large piece of leftover paneling and tied down tree stand. This prevented tipping of tree. No ornaments or lights on bottom, only top one foot. And no cover, let just keep taking it off tree stand and rolling in it. No presents, because ripping of paper is fun--Mom only needed to rewrap about 10 times to learn this, dumb mommy. So there we were with our bare room, only couch, love seat, and TV on floor, and a tied down Christmas tree. Still, it never looked lovelier. God decorated the room for me, with my beautiful family and our time together.
As I appr0ached this Christmas with the twins at age 12 and Maverick at 15, I was reminded of that sparse holiday. Money is beyond tight this season, so presents got less. But somehow, everywhere I turned I found exactly what I needed for my budget. Again and again I went to the well, dipped in my greedy hands for a drink, and God filled it up. Shirts were on clearance at Abercrombie for my god daughters. A sweatshirt that was really cool, price $100 was on sale for $35, so I could do the combined birthday-Christmas for my godson. Jeans were half the price I normally pay on sale. Flannel shirts appeared in perfect order at thrift store. Friends sent gift cards and gave me never been worn winter coats for Maggie. I found a great deal for Luke on a coat. The kids gave me small gift lists and seemed happy to get a few things. And then I got a great discount on a gift for my boss to make up for puking in his truck. Seems everyone loves a good story involving vomit and screaming at a new boss to drive faster and pass that granny going 20, who knew?
All around me abundance abounds. I don't have my cookies baked, my gifts wrapped or my house scrubbed. I am pretty sure laundry won't get caught up until 2010 and eggnog better double for Christmas eve dinner, or I am in trouble. I have bags under my eyes from trying to work while recovering from major surgery and somehow put on the Christmas pageant that takes weeks to orchestrate, a year to save up for, 5 minutes to unwrap, and lasts a lifetime.
And I wouldn't have it any other way. Chaos is bliss because it means that God trusts me with so much. I will work to remind us all that Christmas past is about the love and connections. Its the stories we share, like Jesus and Mary's travels and trials on that first Christmas. Ours just get richer with the retelling,
Share your stories this holiday season, just as we do in church and in the bible and in our prayers. Let them out and sing Joy to the World today.
God Bless and Merry Christmas.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Post-operative stress
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
We ran out of eggs this week.
When I came home from the hospital last week, the children understood that Mom needed to heal and wouldn't be doing all she normally does, that she needed to rest. For the first 48 hours, it wasn't bad, they enjoyed asking me how I was doing and bringing me things. But it didn't really dawn on them, that my being sick wasn't the hard part; rather not having me do everything was.
On Saturday, Luke was first up. He obligingly started the coffee and I slowly walked to the kitchen. "Okay, now I need you to be Mom." Be you, what do you mean? Let's start our day while the coffee brews, empty the dishwasher. We have no clean mugs, so we need to get them 0ut and reload. Get the cups from the table. Okay, get the dishes from upstairs. Okay, get the dishes in the living room. Okay, load up and restart. Now let's go to the laundry room. I taught him how to run the washer and how much soap to use. Okay, let's wash darks first. I point down at the pile, okay, a couple of jeans, a couple of towels, Maverick's boxers, Maggie's bras. I see him freeze---yes, Luke, I am sorry I can't bend and you will have to touch the laundry in order to put it in the washer, and that means all of it, even their undies. He picks them up and quickly throws them like they have the plague.
We tried to keep the laundry going, but no one wants to do it really. And sorting it and folding it became a nightmare. I tried to stay out of it, but there was the underwear problem. Suddenly, I had none. I don't know where they were. Honestly, Maggie said she didn't have them and I couldn't see them in the piles anywhere. I kept bathing, sticking my one pair in the wash and nabbing it later. And my sweat pants and jeans that fit also got sucked up in the sea of laundry. I was living in jammies and getting a little sick of it. Guess I need to teach them some organizational skills. Like that their bedroom floors do not double as dressers, and that if you get someone else's clothes, give them to that person. And stop stealing my socks, darn it, another thing I couldn't find all week. I week to the chiropractor in dire pain, with a red and a blue sock on, no undies, and ripped sweats. Honestly, if I don't get well soon, I think people will start taking up collections for us because homeless people dress better.
And then meals and food became another issue. I sent my husband shopping. I asked what he wanted to cook, and I listed what we would need for that. And get the usual 4 gallons of milk--yes 4. 4 twice a week, we drink a lot of milk. He picked up what I listed and nothing else. We seemed pretty good, until about Tuesday when we ran out of eggs.
I have never run out of eggs. See, there just is a level of food I automatically have in the house, the basics. I automatically get them and don't even list them. Eggs, milk, oj, peanut butter, butter, yogurt, fruit, paper products, bread, spaghetti sauce, cheese, lunch meat, chicken, ground beef. While I thought of some of them, I forgot to check the eggs. I usually have at least 3 dozen, so we can bake or have them for a meal. Well, we had eggs twice for quick meals and we ran out. I have never done that before.
No undies, no socks, no jeans, no eggs. Still, not a bad week. Friends are coming to help Maggie and I do the holiday baking. I can sit and mix and direct while they do the rest. And lot of other friends helped this week, I am so blessed. The queen helped me get some shopping done, bought me lunch and gave me beautiful steaks to eat one night. Mrs. Grocery made me excellent lasagna. Mrs. PT cheered me up with a visit and hot cocoa and cookies. Miss art picked me up and got me out of the house. Mrs. GM gave me free tickets to the nutcracker when her sister-in-law couldn't go. Mrs. Happy Mom brought me soup, yum yum, broccoli with cheese.
I am truly blessed, thank you all. And maybe Santa will bring me undies in my stocking.
We ran out of eggs this week.
When I came home from the hospital last week, the children understood that Mom needed to heal and wouldn't be doing all she normally does, that she needed to rest. For the first 48 hours, it wasn't bad, they enjoyed asking me how I was doing and bringing me things. But it didn't really dawn on them, that my being sick wasn't the hard part; rather not having me do everything was.
On Saturday, Luke was first up. He obligingly started the coffee and I slowly walked to the kitchen. "Okay, now I need you to be Mom." Be you, what do you mean? Let's start our day while the coffee brews, empty the dishwasher. We have no clean mugs, so we need to get them 0ut and reload. Get the cups from the table. Okay, get the dishes from upstairs. Okay, get the dishes in the living room. Okay, load up and restart. Now let's go to the laundry room. I taught him how to run the washer and how much soap to use. Okay, let's wash darks first. I point down at the pile, okay, a couple of jeans, a couple of towels, Maverick's boxers, Maggie's bras. I see him freeze---yes, Luke, I am sorry I can't bend and you will have to touch the laundry in order to put it in the washer, and that means all of it, even their undies. He picks them up and quickly throws them like they have the plague.
We tried to keep the laundry going, but no one wants to do it really. And sorting it and folding it became a nightmare. I tried to stay out of it, but there was the underwear problem. Suddenly, I had none. I don't know where they were. Honestly, Maggie said she didn't have them and I couldn't see them in the piles anywhere. I kept bathing, sticking my one pair in the wash and nabbing it later. And my sweat pants and jeans that fit also got sucked up in the sea of laundry. I was living in jammies and getting a little sick of it. Guess I need to teach them some organizational skills. Like that their bedroom floors do not double as dressers, and that if you get someone else's clothes, give them to that person. And stop stealing my socks, darn it, another thing I couldn't find all week. I week to the chiropractor in dire pain, with a red and a blue sock on, no undies, and ripped sweats. Honestly, if I don't get well soon, I think people will start taking up collections for us because homeless people dress better.
And then meals and food became another issue. I sent my husband shopping. I asked what he wanted to cook, and I listed what we would need for that. And get the usual 4 gallons of milk--yes 4. 4 twice a week, we drink a lot of milk. He picked up what I listed and nothing else. We seemed pretty good, until about Tuesday when we ran out of eggs.
I have never run out of eggs. See, there just is a level of food I automatically have in the house, the basics. I automatically get them and don't even list them. Eggs, milk, oj, peanut butter, butter, yogurt, fruit, paper products, bread, spaghetti sauce, cheese, lunch meat, chicken, ground beef. While I thought of some of them, I forgot to check the eggs. I usually have at least 3 dozen, so we can bake or have them for a meal. Well, we had eggs twice for quick meals and we ran out. I have never done that before.
No undies, no socks, no jeans, no eggs. Still, not a bad week. Friends are coming to help Maggie and I do the holiday baking. I can sit and mix and direct while they do the rest. And lot of other friends helped this week, I am so blessed. The queen helped me get some shopping done, bought me lunch and gave me beautiful steaks to eat one night. Mrs. Grocery made me excellent lasagna. Mrs. PT cheered me up with a visit and hot cocoa and cookies. Miss art picked me up and got me out of the house. Mrs. GM gave me free tickets to the nutcracker when her sister-in-law couldn't go. Mrs. Happy Mom brought me soup, yum yum, broccoli with cheese.
I am truly blessed, thank you all. And maybe Santa will bring me undies in my stocking.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Deer healers
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
I often wonder if angels talk to us thousands of times each day, and we just don't have that channel tuned in. I think it's easy in times of trouble to just wallow in despair, focusing on what has gone wrong, turning the events over in our minds again and again and again. When we limit our focus that tightly, we blind ourselves to beauty of God that surrounds us.
Back in late September, I had one particularly dark day when I couldn't pop myself up for anything. I was literally laying on the floor, crying, seeing no end to the plight of my job search and my depression. I spent about 10 days in a row churning my grief over and over again. No matter what method I tried to get going, I saw nothing but the spiraling down of life, my debts, my feelings of worthlessness and my failures as a human being. The tools I had used for months, meditation, inspirational cd's, reading, affirmations, and prayer were not pulling me up.
I finally admitted the whole truth out loud to my therapist and began the process of my healing. She pinpointed a nasty event 10 days before that I had dismissed as inconsequential, which in reality had pushed me over the edge. Finally, I broke down the cement walls around my heart and understood what I was hiding. Afterwards, I stopped and got a coffee, and drove to nearby Glen Park to write in my journal about my feelings.
It was a chilly fall day, so I took out my favorite Raggedy Anne sleeping bag and another blanket to wrap up in and sat in the middle of a small section of the park, surrounded by trees and birds. I quietly began to give thanks in my journal and to ask God to lift me out of my despair, once and for all, and to restore me to the loving confident woman I used to be. After about an hour, I took a little nap and enjoyed a true rest for the first time in weeks.
I woke up, and took stock of the many things to give thanks for. Just then, out of the woods, 20 feet away, came 7 deer. They walked forward confidently and just watched me. It was so strange, like they were talking to me and looking at me as my beloved dog Molly does. So, I just sat still and quietly started talking to them, telling them my problems. They watched me for a good 20 minutes. I stayed after they left and went home in peace.
I remembered in my tai chi class that our instructor talked about receiving messages from animals and birds and started to wonder about the deer. I continued on my healing, not quite there yet, but starting to come out of the fog of my sadness. 2 days later, across the street from my house, in the morning, 2 deer stood and watched me through the window again for 20 minutes. Still, I didn't quite connect the messages I would be receiving from the deer, but I talked to them softly about what I was feeling.
On that Sunday, just before dusk, I was filled with anguish. Another week, no job prospects and the paper held nothing new, and I was feeling desperate. I drove to Glen Park to look at the birds and do some deep breathing. Out of woods came not my seven deer friends, not the 2 from my house, no, thirteen deer walked out of the woods and came 10 feet from me. I stood and talked to them for over 20 minutes and they listened. I felt such a peace and serenity come over me. I felt like I must have imagined it, but as I walked to my car, I saw 2 ambulance attendants eating their lunch. The one guy asked me how I got them to stay near me for so long, was I feeding them? No, I said, I just talk to them.
I looked it up about the deer, and its supposed to mean unconditional love and new beginnings. Shortly after, I got the lead on the marketing job I now have. I felt like the deer were sent to heal me and help me feel God's love. This week, I drove back to the park. My seven friends came out again and watched me while I talked.
You never know where the messages may fall in your life. It's easy to cloak ourselves in the dark and not see the light shining around us. Look for it today and feel the healing.
I often wonder if angels talk to us thousands of times each day, and we just don't have that channel tuned in. I think it's easy in times of trouble to just wallow in despair, focusing on what has gone wrong, turning the events over in our minds again and again and again. When we limit our focus that tightly, we blind ourselves to beauty of God that surrounds us.
Back in late September, I had one particularly dark day when I couldn't pop myself up for anything. I was literally laying on the floor, crying, seeing no end to the plight of my job search and my depression. I spent about 10 days in a row churning my grief over and over again. No matter what method I tried to get going, I saw nothing but the spiraling down of life, my debts, my feelings of worthlessness and my failures as a human being. The tools I had used for months, meditation, inspirational cd's, reading, affirmations, and prayer were not pulling me up.
I finally admitted the whole truth out loud to my therapist and began the process of my healing. She pinpointed a nasty event 10 days before that I had dismissed as inconsequential, which in reality had pushed me over the edge. Finally, I broke down the cement walls around my heart and understood what I was hiding. Afterwards, I stopped and got a coffee, and drove to nearby Glen Park to write in my journal about my feelings.
It was a chilly fall day, so I took out my favorite Raggedy Anne sleeping bag and another blanket to wrap up in and sat in the middle of a small section of the park, surrounded by trees and birds. I quietly began to give thanks in my journal and to ask God to lift me out of my despair, once and for all, and to restore me to the loving confident woman I used to be. After about an hour, I took a little nap and enjoyed a true rest for the first time in weeks.
I woke up, and took stock of the many things to give thanks for. Just then, out of the woods, 20 feet away, came 7 deer. They walked forward confidently and just watched me. It was so strange, like they were talking to me and looking at me as my beloved dog Molly does. So, I just sat still and quietly started talking to them, telling them my problems. They watched me for a good 20 minutes. I stayed after they left and went home in peace.
I remembered in my tai chi class that our instructor talked about receiving messages from animals and birds and started to wonder about the deer. I continued on my healing, not quite there yet, but starting to come out of the fog of my sadness. 2 days later, across the street from my house, in the morning, 2 deer stood and watched me through the window again for 20 minutes. Still, I didn't quite connect the messages I would be receiving from the deer, but I talked to them softly about what I was feeling.
On that Sunday, just before dusk, I was filled with anguish. Another week, no job prospects and the paper held nothing new, and I was feeling desperate. I drove to Glen Park to look at the birds and do some deep breathing. Out of woods came not my seven deer friends, not the 2 from my house, no, thirteen deer walked out of the woods and came 10 feet from me. I stood and talked to them for over 20 minutes and they listened. I felt such a peace and serenity come over me. I felt like I must have imagined it, but as I walked to my car, I saw 2 ambulance attendants eating their lunch. The one guy asked me how I got them to stay near me for so long, was I feeding them? No, I said, I just talk to them.
I looked it up about the deer, and its supposed to mean unconditional love and new beginnings. Shortly after, I got the lead on the marketing job I now have. I felt like the deer were sent to heal me and help me feel God's love. This week, I drove back to the park. My seven friends came out again and watched me while I talked.
You never know where the messages may fall in your life. It's easy to cloak ourselves in the dark and not see the light shining around us. Look for it today and feel the healing.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.
Today was a very special Thanksgiving. I imagined it just last week, the turkey all cooked, the side dishes steaming, the family gathered, and me giving thanks for getting a really good job after 8 months off. I was going to count my blessing for so many friends; Mark getting a job, Lorain's Dad pulling through so they could do the big trip up to Northern Canada, Tim's treatment for meslthemioma, for help for Lisa's sister-in-laws brain tumor, for Laurie's son in the Coast Guard and Carla's 2 sons in the Navy, for Donna's husband Sam's foot injury, for my mother-in-law's recovery from breast cancer, for Mary's help on her dissertation, for a full-time teaching job for Denise, for a new pharmacist job for Biljana in Orlando, for the new job for John, blessings for my friend's Yvonne and Dan helping my husband and I get new jobs, for Matt's Dad's healing from cancer, for Nate's Mom's hysterectomy, for Chris's battle with Guille Barre syndrome---so many people have really been helped this year and I am so grateful, but all along I was really going to give thanks for ice chips.
Yes, ice chips. What a blessing, the cold and the wet. Heaven. I had my first full week of work last week and came in Monday for a short holiday week. Pain in my side, no big deal, same pain I have had off and on. Did a 2 hour meeting, suddenly felt like puking. I haven't puked since I was 8. No, really I thought? Really? Yup, all over the bathroom. Had to have my new boss drive me to the emergency room. Want me to pull over he asks? Nope, just drive faster, blahhhhhh, all over his Ford Expedition. What a way to make an impression on the new boss, puking in his truck. Get in there, 8 hours of tests, they tell me I have a large cyst, go home and call your OB guy in the morning.
I try to stay home, but I can't get any pain medicine to stay down what with the puking and all. I am in more pain then it took to birth my 16 pounds of twins. I am shaking and screaming and making all kinds of promises to God if he would just take the pain away. I have DH drive me to closer emergency room, get more tests, get lots more medicine, have a woman come in to do a sonogram at 2 a.m., get my OB guy out of bed at 3, lots of fun. DH drives back to emergency room number one at 4 a.m. to get the cat scan of my 4th dependent, a cyst the size of Nebraska. Seriously, it was 12cm by 20cm. I am pretty sure they had to get a crane to take it out. It was so big, they put in a zipper for ease in removing the next one. I tried to get a tummy tuck while they were down there, but my OB/GYN said no two-fers, this wasn't Wegmans BOGO sale.
All in all, from the first puking on Monday, to ice chips on Tuesday at 10, it was 34 hours without liquids or food. Nothing, because everyone was sure I must need surgery for something, but was it kidney stones, my appendix or a cyst, no one could decide on for a whole day. Finally, they sent me to LALA land to dream of Tim Horton's large black coffee at 8 p.m. Tuesday. I was never so grateful for ice chips at 10.
So, as usual, I find it really amusing that I finally get a job to only need to leave due to a surgery. My friend is convinced I am just trying to milk the system. Unemployment was out, so now you need disability? What next she laments, Medicaid? A Handicapped sticker for your limp from sitting on your butt all year?
Yup, I give thanks for all my friends who know me so well and give me grief when I am sick. Here I am taking it easy again. But I am home, and I am so grateful.
Have an amazing Thanksgiving.
Today was a very special Thanksgiving. I imagined it just last week, the turkey all cooked, the side dishes steaming, the family gathered, and me giving thanks for getting a really good job after 8 months off. I was going to count my blessing for so many friends; Mark getting a job, Lorain's Dad pulling through so they could do the big trip up to Northern Canada, Tim's treatment for meslthemioma, for help for Lisa's sister-in-laws brain tumor, for Laurie's son in the Coast Guard and Carla's 2 sons in the Navy, for Donna's husband Sam's foot injury, for my mother-in-law's recovery from breast cancer, for Mary's help on her dissertation, for a full-time teaching job for Denise, for a new pharmacist job for Biljana in Orlando, for the new job for John, blessings for my friend's Yvonne and Dan helping my husband and I get new jobs, for Matt's Dad's healing from cancer, for Nate's Mom's hysterectomy, for Chris's battle with Guille Barre syndrome---so many people have really been helped this year and I am so grateful, but all along I was really going to give thanks for ice chips.
Yes, ice chips. What a blessing, the cold and the wet. Heaven. I had my first full week of work last week and came in Monday for a short holiday week. Pain in my side, no big deal, same pain I have had off and on. Did a 2 hour meeting, suddenly felt like puking. I haven't puked since I was 8. No, really I thought? Really? Yup, all over the bathroom. Had to have my new boss drive me to the emergency room. Want me to pull over he asks? Nope, just drive faster, blahhhhhh, all over his Ford Expedition. What a way to make an impression on the new boss, puking in his truck. Get in there, 8 hours of tests, they tell me I have a large cyst, go home and call your OB guy in the morning.
I try to stay home, but I can't get any pain medicine to stay down what with the puking and all. I am in more pain then it took to birth my 16 pounds of twins. I am shaking and screaming and making all kinds of promises to God if he would just take the pain away. I have DH drive me to closer emergency room, get more tests, get lots more medicine, have a woman come in to do a sonogram at 2 a.m., get my OB guy out of bed at 3, lots of fun. DH drives back to emergency room number one at 4 a.m. to get the cat scan of my 4th dependent, a cyst the size of Nebraska. Seriously, it was 12cm by 20cm. I am pretty sure they had to get a crane to take it out. It was so big, they put in a zipper for ease in removing the next one. I tried to get a tummy tuck while they were down there, but my OB/GYN said no two-fers, this wasn't Wegmans BOGO sale.
All in all, from the first puking on Monday, to ice chips on Tuesday at 10, it was 34 hours without liquids or food. Nothing, because everyone was sure I must need surgery for something, but was it kidney stones, my appendix or a cyst, no one could decide on for a whole day. Finally, they sent me to LALA land to dream of Tim Horton's large black coffee at 8 p.m. Tuesday. I was never so grateful for ice chips at 10.
So, as usual, I find it really amusing that I finally get a job to only need to leave due to a surgery. My friend is convinced I am just trying to milk the system. Unemployment was out, so now you need disability? What next she laments, Medicaid? A Handicapped sticker for your limp from sitting on your butt all year?
Yup, I give thanks for all my friends who know me so well and give me grief when I am sick. Here I am taking it easy again. But I am home, and I am so grateful.
Have an amazing Thanksgiving.
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