Chick Flick

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.

"Food for the soul is Salt (we are the salt of the earth), Sugar (draw your energy from the sweetness of the honeycomb), Grease (nothing bad can float out of you when you eat grease), Caffeine (you need to stay awake to feed the soul) and of course, chocolate, because we are women (no explanation needed)."

Chick flick day with Maggie and company.

New snow brush to rid the car of 18 more inches of dreaded snow--$8.
Gas to drive myself to work all week--$3 (it's only 1/2 mile)
Gas to drive the munchkins to their friends houses this week--$53
Tickets to see Penelope on a snowy Saturday--$21
Cost of 4 food groups, Salt, Sugar,Grease, Caffeine & Chocolate for Penelope--$29
Number of patrons in movie on snowy Saturday--8
Length of time we had to wait for the BIG KISS--1 hour 29 minutes
Cost of female bonding time on birthday--PRICELESS

Fun movie day with Maggie and BFF. Ate most of the salt item by the previews. Chewed on the Milk duds until 3/4 into movie. Sucked on 32 ounce Diet Coke until next Tuesday. Laughed and cheered. Movie ends, I yell: "That was good, but I really need to pee." One can not bear twins in a lifetime and expect to have bladder control ever again. Actually, I think it pretty much happens with any birth. They should give you a warning label at the hospital "Patient may now experience a sudden need to pee anytime she in bides more than 4 ounces of liquid. Should this occur, please try to visit the nearest bathroom within in 10 minutes."

Of course, the reality is, that once you have kids, your pee schedule is never again your own. Oh no, you must defer action quite often, but you find you can't. Coffee goes right on by your bladder, needing direct attention now. Diet pop, forget about it, you need the express lane. And God help you should you go to a hear a jazz band, in a small Niagara on the Lake English Pub, and feel a tiny bit British, so you drink the quart lagers. And you mistakenly drink another. And want to go pee, but the Pub now has 300 people in it and the loo is way on the other side of the crowd. It's easier to go back to your hotel room, pee and lay down comatose, so you do.

And then there's the problem of peeing at home. I have seen my DH disappear into the men's room everyday when he gets home from work for 45 minutes at a pop. He's never disturbed. I can't even try to brush my teeth for 30 seconds without the Battle of Imo Jima starting in the kitchen. When they were small, I tried to teach the twins not to talk to Mommy through the door when she is in the bathroom, that she needs the peace of the time alone in there. I thought I really had it figured out, when the notes came under the door.

No, Mom's can't ever expect to pee in private. Once that door shuts, your kids think it just means they have your undivided attention now. They can say anything they want, and you can't pretend to hear it. "Going to Nick's Mom, pick me up at 10." Love it, like it's the express ticket booth at the train station and you can just order a ride.

Well, I did buy a house with 2 bathrooms. And I recently figured out they are all too lazy to run upstairs and see where Mom is. They actually think I've left if they don't see me downstairs. It's like I am in a foreign country when I run up those 12 steps. Or maybe that was just the pile of laundry and books I wadded in to find the bathroom door. And the weird thing, because they hate running upstairs, it's clean in there. And quiet. Oh so quiet. I think I actually spent 7 minutes in there the other day.

Cost of second bathroom on small cape cod house-- Priceless.

Twin Hug

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very soul.

"At least I was born cute. " --cupcake girl to muffin boy

Life with twins has always been exciting. From the sonogram at 6 weeks where the technician announced, "See the two heads" to the modern day hormone wars, you just never know what you might get. Day in, day out, it switches faster then the promos for the weather at 6.

From an early age, the twins were super affectionate with Mom. They figured out early on, that if they snuck up to me, one on either side of me, and each grabbed me at the same time, yelling "Twin Hug," that I would melt like butter and give them whatever they wanted. I just couldn't resist.

From their first birthday on, I always had their birthday parties together. As they got into school, it was kinda neat to have this huge party at home with 30 screaming kids batting at the pinata. They just loved having it together, double cake, double presents, double kids. Lots of fun. Then one morning, a couple of months before their 9th birthday, they each came up to me one morning and pulled the twin hug. Man oh man, I didn't know what was about to come out of their mouths.

"Mom, we want a divorce."
A what? A divorce. Really? Yes, we want our OWN birthdays.

Oh. Well, umm, I can't do that. You see, God gave you your birthdays together. I might have wanted a different scenario then the 40 weeks of double babies, a permanently inflated bladder, and weekly vaginal exams, but God had a different plan. So no, you are stuck with what you got. But they did get to separate their parties for a few years. Cupcake always got to go first, since she is 11 minutes older. 11 long minutes, trust me.

So you see, the words they spring on you, can really surprise you. Twins really do have a different way of looking at things. Mornings tend to bring some pretty exciting verbiage, when the adrenaline is running high to get it done before the bus comes at 8:04. Friday as I dressed I heard the usual,"You're fat. No, you're fat" followed by "You're stupid, no you're stupid. Then the new phrase from cupcake girl, "Well, at least I was born cute."

Mom couldn't help buy burst out laughing at that one, and of course, got caught doing so. Not supposed to be take sides in any verbal wars. Must stay out of it. Must maintain granite face at all times.

"Stop it Mom! It's not Funny! Why does he have to live here anyway?" Hmm, well honey, I don't really know an answer to that one, because God sent you both here at the same time. Silence permeates the air for a full two minutes as she contemplates that one. Wow, maybe I finally stumped her.

"Well, it's time to send him back!"--cupcake

Some days, Mom wants to send you all back, just to be able to have 2 minutes to pee in peace, without hearing, "No, you tell Mom. No, you tell her. " Oh jees, what now???? Can't I ever pee, and just pee?

No, evidently, you lose that right, the minute you conceive.