Appliance Monsters

Life Balance: a feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can we, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom act as one with our very souls.

The pageant is over. All that remains is the crinkled wrapping paper, the cardboard boxes reused as gladiator swords and the tinsel everywhere, even though we never buy tinsel. The after glow of a sunny Christmas morning collides with the aftermath of empty wallets and tired Moms.

Why does the cheer of Christmas quickly disintegrate into reality TV without the prizes?---me

Woke today and decided to do laundry. Big mistake. Huge. Never put laundry in before the caffeine super craving is satisfied. Moved yesterday's washed closed to the dryer and hit the minutes. Started new laundry. Made coffee. Showered, singing, happy to have another day off and a 50% Starbucks cafe discount. Life is good.

Have cuddle time with the cupcake daughter. Nice, happy. Decided to try and discover America again in the form of a kitchen counter and living room rug. Both still intact, the rumor that they were missing was totally a lie. Went to switch the wash, opened the dryer.

HMMM. Cold. Crap. Really? And the DH thought the fact the clothes were taking longer to dry was because I suddenly forgot how to wash clothes after 18 total/16 happy years of marriage. No, really, the heating element went.

Dryer number 4. Vacuum number 6. Stove parts in the hundreds. Weird car breakdowns in the thousands(whoever heard of the locking mechanism for the ignition going? How about the axle?). We always have the best of luck in the days following Christmas. It's like Santa really leaves us a new gift and it isnt' winning the lottery. Here we go again. Jeesh.

Oh well. Who needs towels to dry ourselves with? Just turn the heat up and streak. Or clean undies? Isn't commando all the rage? It's vacation week, so jammies are perfect attire. Let's not talk about the kids sheets. I am sure the health department doesn't really need to know about the stench coming from the vicinty of Wild Child's bed again. And I am sure leftover Christmas cookie crumbs mixed with homemade eggnog really won't stain. I hope.

I don't work again until Tuesday. Can you send some quarters by then? Or better yet, can I come have some Christmas cheer while I borrow your dryer?

Happy Day.